certifiable

It's one of those nights, when waiting for a polisher to stop tumbling in just another ten minutes seems like an impossible task. Even though it's only 1 am, I'm so tired I could fall asleep standing. I've had about three nights of 3-4h of sleep followed by intensive three hour mornings with the kids - making and eating breakfast, making lunch, prepping dinner stuff, bottles, getting ready for work... that kind of a thing. Then 9am-4pm - work. After... get home, make dinner, do bath, books, bed, laundry, dishes and begin my usual studio hour shortly after 9pm and work as late as my brain and body can handle. Usually it's till about 2am or 2:30am. Then a few hours of interrupted sleep and a wake up call around 5:45 or just after by a cheery, bushy tailed and bright eyed Stella. My studio sale is this week-end and so is Kaspar's Christmas pageant. What a week-end! Sunday night my awesome "manny" (male nanny) of the last six weeks leaves and I'm left to make do for three days with friends and fellow locals to take care of the kids while I'm at work. I cannot wait till all this is over and I can breathe again. I better go and sleep now. After this week-end I might attempt to find my camera cord and plug that thing in and post some pictures, too. Right now it's too hard to even think about that! Good night.

what happened to blogging?

Well. I'll give you three guesses. No! It has nothing to do with the picture above. The gorgeous little fellow in the above picture is Max (Maksimillians) my sister's baby boy born just a few days ago. But his birth has nothing to do with my lack of blogging. I just had to brag and let you all know that I have a gorgeous little nephew and I'm proud to be an aunt and he was born on MY name day! Talk about an awesome gift! As a matter of fact, the world of blogging had to be put on hold while I get acquainted with full time work once again and a new babysitter and in general a whole new situation here at home. It's been an adjustment! Let's just leave it at that. Or else I might start spilling my guts and not be able to stop. Ha, ha!

In the mean time, over the course of the last four weeks a lot has changed. Stella has now six teeth (seven and eight about to cut through, any day now) and is beginning to talk. I mean - she's serious about talking, even if I do not understand a single word of it. I'm sure she's using words, though. I'm sure she knows what she's talking about. You can tell from her expression that she's not just mumbling sounds - she's talking.

Last week Stella also began walking. The first three steps in a row she took a couple of months ago, but last week she began walking and knowing that she's walking. Last Sunday, in fact, we were having dinner with some friends and she stood up, took about four little steps and looked at everyone and grinned and then squealed... It was very cute. Almost as if she was saying: "Everyone, did you see that? I did it! I can do it!" From that day on she has been walking more and more every day. She gets into the "downward dog" like yoga position and slowly lifts herself off the ground, (stands up in a way that I could never manage) balances herself for a few seconds and then dashes forward, two, three, four... sometimes five or six steps before she falls forward, always catching herself on the palms of her hands, with her bum up in the air. Sometimes, if the "walk" has been fast enough and the momentum is still going she manages to fall right on her forehead, because her head still seems to be heavier then her bum. But she never complains, just gets back down on all fours and continues to her destination crawling. If she feels extra strong, she sometimes gets back up on her feet and walks...

Well, I better just cut myself off. I have to make it to work before 10am. Ciao. I hope to write more, soon.

not so proud

Well. I have to admit that every time I give into the temptation I feel bad. So, no! I'm not proud to admit this.... and... this comes from a mother who is proud to watch her kid's blank face at shcool, when most of the other kids hoo, humm and haaaa at the word "McDonald's". Indeed, only a week ago I asked Kaspar if he knew what McDonald was and he responded "Maybe... it's a truck driver? What do you think, mommy?" But we do have a Pizza Pizza in the neighbourhood and Kaspar must take after me, because he loves pizza, chips, french fries, sausage, salami and pretty much anything savory and salty. So, today after spending over an hour running errands with Stella and Kaspar in tow I resigned to having lunch at PizzaPizza. I was pleasantly surprised by their Thai Chicken slice myself and Kaspar had just the best time picking the pepperoni off his own slice. But the most surprising thing was a large flat screen TV in the corner of the shop (which I admit, I had not noticed before) and as we were waiting for our order it was showing a channel called PizzaTV and I felt like I was having a total breakdown, because the first thing I noticed them showing was Elliott Brood's video called "The Bridge". At first I thought - I must be seeing things! Is that what happens when your hubby goes on the road for weeks at a time? Then it dawned on me... no, this is for real. And I thought - Oh shoot, the artist must have needed cash pretty bad to sell the same cartoon to PizzaPizza. But it turned out to be the real Elliott Brood video with the name and caption at the end and everything legitimate, even the Six Shooter logo and name appearing as their label. So, I worry for no reason one again. But it really is weird walking into a PizzaPizza and watching an Elliott Brood video with no sound as I'm placing my order. Weird. I just do not get it.

let me tell you

Let me begin by telling you the story about Al. He lives two doors down from us. He's a really nice fellow in his fifties, who lives alone and is always ready to lend a helping hand. He loves his leaf blower and his beer. Al has always put up the most extreme Christmas decorations on his huge tree in the front yard. But we wait to see what will happen this year, because the tree was just cut down a week ago. The city deemed it too old and sick to leave standing. Sadly. But that's another story. Al is tall and skinny and sports what I could describe as the Kim Mitchell look. You know, the long thin hair, the trucker's cap (with mesh in the back and in some hideous colour), aviator's glasses, a well worn t-shirt, old leather jacket or windbreaker, jeans... you get the picture? A few days ago I decided that it was time to give Kaspar a hair cut. His hair had grown long enough to pull into a mini pony tail and was bothering his vision in the front. What did he reply? "No! I want to grow my hair like Al's!!!" Who was I to argue? He knew what he wanted. We had to come to some sort of a compromise. So, Kaspar ended up with a mullet. I think the "mullet" style runs in his blood. His dad had a mullet for years, after all.

lost

This morning I found myself in one of those situations, where you begin questioning your own sanity.

It was a relatively calm morning. Kaspar was once again playing garbage man and unloading ALL of his toys onto his bed (the garbage truck). Stella was happily playing with the zipper of my purse. All doors and safety latches were done up and closed. So, I decided that it was safe for me to lock myself in the bathroom for about three minutes to do the things that people do in bathrooms on their own. Sometimes I don't have the luxury of privacy in my bathroom... but this morning I thought I'd take the chance while everyone was calm and happy.

Upon reentering the bedroom I realized that Stella had managed to get into my zipped up purse and pull out everything onto the floor. So what! A few ripped bills? A destroyed lipstick. Nothing worth worrying about. The day goes on.... until.... I pack the kids up and get ready to go to the store. And I cannot find my wallet.

I search. I tear the house apart. I get the kids dressed and undresses several times. I go back and forth between the house and the garage several times. In the end I tell myself that I'm 99.99% sure that it was in my purse. Back to the indoors. I rearrange the entire bedroom. Go through clean and dirty laundry. Go through everything that Stella might have gotten into. I start to feel like I'm going crazy. Nothing. Two hours pass. Nothing. Three hours. I'm still searching. In the middle of it all, the phone rings. A very apologetic voice on the other end asks for me. It's or RESP fund manager calling and being very sorry about disturbing me on a Sunday. I'm so frustrated I want to yell at her. I take a deep breath, take a break from searching and try to deal with whatever is about to come my way. I'm already expecting some tragedy, but She's only asking me to check my son's birth certificate, because of some mistake SHE has made on the application. Thank goodness that's all! So, I'm opening the "filing cabinet" which is really just a cardboard filing box under the desk in the bedroom... and yes... my wallet is right there! Sitting amongst the first few files. Nice and neat.

I yelled so loud that she must have thought I was nuts. I felt so happy about her calling that I almost invited her for dinner and called her an angel. She definitely thought I was nuts! I even made her listen to my entire sob story about my wallet and shed a few tears of joy while telling it. Madness!

Stella must have managed to pull out my wallet, go through everything else in the purse as well as stuff the wallet through the banker's box handle hole into the box, all within minutes of leaving her alone in the room. How is that possible? And the hole is only an inch bigger then the wallet.

I don't get it!

tais vecos labos laikos

"Tais vecos laikos, es reiz spēlēju hokeju!"

Last night my three year old sits down next to me, sighs a deep sigh and tells me: "Back in the good old days I played hockey." I sit there, perplexed. Even though he's telling me this in perfect Latvian, it sounds so ancient. So old and wise. Especially coming from a three year old kid. It almost cracks a smile on my face. But I cannot laugh. He's being totally serious. I'm pretty sure I know this phrase does not come from a movie or a book. I hardly have any books on hockey in Latvian. I have to admit, I don't even know what he's trying to tell me. With all seriousness, I begin to quiz him. And after a while the meaning dawns on me. He remembers last winter, playing hockey, skating and watching the hockey players in the park. But last winter to a three year old is like "good old days" to a seventy five year old, I guess. The things you learn being a parent. But, I still have not figured out where he came up with such a wise old way of wording it.

things we do

I'm enjoying a brief moment of quiet. It's Saturday morning and Kaspar is in school until 1pm. It's relatively calm at home, when he's away, I must say! He's not just a fast paced, on the go, non stop kind of a kid... he's also become very competitive as far as his sister is concerned. Even though I try to take time that I spend with him and only him, every single day, I think he still secretly thinks that mommy belongs to HIM and only HIM and he's not willing to share. Or does it only because he has not figured out a way to NOT share, yet. Some days I feel like I need some circus lessons to be able to keep both of them happy and occupied.

I started work part time last week. Even though for the time being I have to go only once a week, I realize that my mom will have her hands full with the kids while I'm gone. The other day she practically collapsed when I walked in the door after work. I've applied to another two co-ops in our area for some daycare time for Kaspar. The waiting lists in our part of town are unbelievable! So, it's probably unlikely that we will get in before he begins school next fall. I'm only beginning to learn about all these things... and what a steep learning curve it is! Any programme that is geared for kids ages 2-5 in Toronto and is affordable is full. Every waiting list is a year long. Every spot is spoken for. Every seat is taken. It's amazing, really! I have to remember to register him for JK at our local school within the next month or I might not get a spot there either. I'd hate to have to ship him accross town to another school on a school bus at age 4. Oh, the things I have to learn to keep up with!!! !!!

abuse

If you saw a woman (let's say on a beach or at a pool) and she was covered in small, penny size, round little bruises, her torso, arms, neck, parts of the rib cage... all covered in little varying brown and yellow little bruises. What would you think? Abuse? Torture? Self inflicted torture? HA! I bet you the last thing that would come to your mind would be BABY! Right? I was standing in front of a mirror this morning counting them all (14 visible at the given moment) and applying "Arnica" tonic to the spots. Stella is a pincher and the older she gets the harder she pinches. And recently she has begun to pinch' n' twist. The pinch' n' twist leaves the darkest bruises. Maybe if I did not bruise so easily... but, boy, does it ever look weird. I'm starting to train her not to do it, but it's not as easy as you'd think. The pinching is a sort of a calming mechanism for her it seems. When she's really upset - she pinches. When she's really tired and falling asleep in my arms she pinches. When she's really hungry - she pinches. When she eats - she sometimes pinches, too. And the more she pinches the faster she calms down. Strange bird!

breakdancing?

Judging from the third picture in the series you might think she's break dancing. No! She noticed me with the camera and tried to take a step towards me without holding on to the couch. Need I say more? Stella is close to walking, but still long way to go before she figures out the balance thing on her own. Of course it does not help to have a "bear" hiding under the couch and cheering (or should I be totally honest?) more like "roarrr-ing" her on. Kaspar is constantly pretending to be a bear, a moose, a lion, a wolf, a big bird or .... a garbage man. Sometimes he lets me pick which I want to see. But for Halloween he's going to be a giraffe. He's got no choice in the matter this year.

mischief

Oh boy! Toilet paper, tissue, books, Kleenex... you name it. This is my personal little shredder, who gets into everything all the time. She knows she's not allowed. She just grins and squeals and tries to get away, when caught red handed. Tearing and shredding things is one of her favourite past times! And being so tall, she able to coax a Kleenex box off the kitchen table, without much work, if it's left too close to the edge. We try to make sure the bathroom doors stay closed all the time, but I've noticed that she's figured out how she can slide her little fingers under the door (between the door and the step) and tug a few times and sure enough, after a while the door gives. We live in an old house where the door handles do not latch as properly as they should. :-) Oh, life with a toddler!!!

week from h.e.l.l.

Looking at these two, you'd hardly believe that I can title a post "week from hell". But it is... sometimes life just has a way of getting under my skin. And this week has been one of those weeks that I'd rather not ever have repeat. However, if I have to be fair the kids have been absolutely wonderful. In fact, they are the only ones keeping me grounded right now. Kaspar came up to me a couple of days ago and said: "I think you need a break. I think I'll just sit here and hold your hand, so that you can feel better." Talk about a perceptive three year old!

Let's see if I can list a few things that have made me go completely bonkers. I think I'm just begging for some sympathy here, aren't I? Oh well... right now I just need to get it off my chest.

I'll begin with... Our phone broke (without me fully noticing it for a day or two). That would not have been a tragedy if my merchant account manager had not called during those specific two days and assumed that I had either closed the business or moved the business and proceeded to file a closure of my merchant account with visa/mc. All this only a week after I had discovered that the same company has "lost" 3000$ of mine. They were taking longer then usual "looking into the matter" and then my account got closed... so, they stopped "looking into the matter". It took me several days to sort that one out. Several days of several hours on the phone and fax and email. I still don't have the money... They are still "looking into it". God, give me patience!

In the middle of the week some work that was supposed to be done by my casting company never came through. And you have to understand, this company NEVER has done this to me. They have been absolutely impeccable for the last ten years. But they messed up. They chose this week to mess up. And I had to deal with a very upset and angry client, who will probably never speak to me again and proceed to let everyone know about me being unreliable (it's a Latvian client... and the Latvian society here in the city is so small... the word will get around... I'm sure).

On Thursday morning I found out that my mom and I have been asked to make food for 60 people on THIS Friday night. And it's not like I was sitting with my hands in my lap in the mean time. I was getting ready for a sale on Saturday and scrambling to get some work finished before the sale. So, having been brought up right and knowing that you cannot say no to friends in need, I put my life on hold and went shopping on Thursday and did a bunch of prep work while entertaining the kids and continuing talks with my bank and having my arms greasy up to my elbows.... talk about multitasking. (The tenderloin roast with a tangy basil sauce turned out so well that I was tempted to keep it and not share!)

On Friday morning just after 11am, as my mother and I, and Stella and Kaspar packed into the car and made the first delivery... the car blew up. Well, OK, I am exaggerating a tad bit here. It stopped working and as we tried to start the car it just huffed and puffed and blew billowing clouds of smoke in the air and finally was towed to the Volvo dealership. It had just been serviced there at the beginning of the week and given a clean bill of health. What gives? I still have no idea what happened to the car, but was forced to abandon all my plans for Friday, let my mom finish all the food prep and I had the pleasure of dealing with towing, car dealerships and mechanics, who (as I discovered just this Friday!) speak a different language then me. I know NOTHING about cars!!!

On top of it, I had to find a car to get to the show the next morning, which happened to start bright and early and was out in the middle of nowhere, about 1.5h north of Toronto. At about 8pm, when I had finally found a car to borrow and arranged to have everything in place for 7am the next morning, my arranged babysitter for the kids for Saturday called in sick. That topped the whole day! I wish someone could have just called the mental hospital and had me admitted... I so much so did not want to deal with any of this. I cried and kicked the wall and woke up Kaspar doing it. And cried some more... I pretty much had a nervous breakdown and am recovering as we speak. Miraculously, my "Latvian connections" bailed me out, once again. I'm sure my friend Tania would say "I knew it!" right about now. So, even though I still feel like I'm recovering from a breakdown, I do feel blessed. And thankful for every friend I have ever had and those that I still have... and all the people I meet in my life. I'm turning the corner and hoping for a better week ahead. God bless you all out there... ...

shoes

How many shoes does a girl need? Apparently no more then 20 pairs or so for the first and second year. Especially if you do not intend to do much walking during the first.

No, I did NOT buy Stella twenty pairs of shoes and boots. While I do have a passion for a good shoe (or boots are even more of a favourite of mine!) I have not had the pleasure of purchasing any of these. They've come to us in the form of gifts or hand-me-downs.

are you cooking?

With two kids on my hands, a hubby touring (more then I could have ever imagined!) and a business to run and about to have to back to my day job... there is still one thing I take time to do. It's cooking. I love cooking. Cooking makes me happy. It calms me. It makes me forget all other troubles. I love it!!! I'm happy to say that I have discovered recently that Kaspar is very much into helping me cook. So, these days I've learned to cook with both of the kids present. I usually try setting Stella up in front of the fridge with a stack full of magnets to take off the door. Kaspar with a little cutting board and a blunt knife and a soft fruit or vegetable or two. He does all the chopping for me! And it's even better when friends come along and set me up with new and unusual recipes asking for a lot of soft veggies or fruit to be cut up. :-) I'll post this one, because it was sent to me as a picture attachment and even though I burned it the first time, it came out awesome the second time. Hope you can read it... It's BBQ Peach crumble.

cool finds

I found this awesome coat at Value village the other day. Could not resist spending the 5$. Even though it's very possible that by the time Stella hits age 5 or 6 and would fit into this gorgeous little coat, she might not like it one bit... Regardless, I'm keeping it. It's made by some European clothing label Bo Ba (the "a" with two little dots on top) or Maybe it's even Ba Ba (both "a" with dots on top). I've been trying to Google it, but nothing comes up regarding kids clothes. But it's such a cool coat. And the red fabric is this soft, soft, fine corduroy material. The pockets made me guess that t might be some Scandinavian design. Any ideas?

first day

Even though Kaspar is only three we decided to put him in Latvian school kindergarten as of this fall. It's only a few hours every Saturday morning and it's a great chance for him to meet and hang out with other Latvian speaking kids his own age. Well.... relatively speaking, I guess. Most of them are a year older. Last Saturday was his first day of school and he took it very seriously. Very seriously! The night before we had to read the "Jekabs & Joakims" story about six times trough from cover to cover (it's an interactive book about an elephant, who goes to school for the very first time...) And the next morning Kaspar was not impressed about the fact that we did not have enough apples to bring for every kid in his class. That's what Joakim does, when he goes to school... he brings a large bag of apples for all his classmates to share. So, Kaspar had a little breakdown on me.

The morning routine and getting ready for school otherwise went relatively smoothly. He even managed to pack his own bag. But once we got to school and he saw the teacher and some of the other kids he became this quiet and shy and frightened three year old... I'm still surprised how the shy stage for kids only begins after they turn two and a half or so. Before the age of two they don't seem to really grasp the "shy" thing. It took a few minutes of holding both Stella and him in my lap, a few friendly kids, who wanted to share a train track with him ... a good ten minutes into the school day he was off on his own, playing and laughing and ordering the other kids around. Yup, he's becoming a little bossy. I blame the "older sibling" status for that. Finally, when he noticed that I was still lingering by the door he came up to me and in a gentle but firm voice said: "Mommy, get lost, please. Don't you see? All the other parents have left." That was enough of a hint for me to take off ad finish signing him up for the class. I knew it was safe of me to pay the non refundable school fees for the year.

I do have to clarify the "get lost" statement... or else I might have emails from grandparents and concerned family members asking me about the language my child uses. First of all, it was said to me in Latvian, of course! And I'll have to blame Disney for the advancement of my three year olds' language skills, especially the rich vocabulary in Latvian slang. There are four or five movies (Shark's tale, Cars, Ice Age) that have been given to Latvian movie studios by Disney and re-done in absolutely fabulous Latvian. We own a few of them and they are some of Kaspar's favourites. He watches them on average three to five times a week. So, the language he's learning from these films is not only full of humour, great lines but also rich in slang, of course. Just the way some kids pick up lines from movies in English, my child has developed a very advanced Latvian sang vocabulary and uses movie jokes to make people laugh. He's in his "I'm a parrot" stage. It'll pass... I'm sure.

california

Oh, beautiful California! We just got back from a work/holiday week there. It was awesome! I loved the weather in California... and the ocean... and the palm trees. Kaspar was thrilled about the waves and Stella was happy to spend days on end in the sand. My only problem was trying to keep a hat on her head, but we managed to keep her under an umbrella for some of the time. And she did learn to eat everything 'sand'. You know... apples dipped in sand, sandy fingers, sand covered cookies, sandy spoons and even at time sandy flip flops. Got to love that "everything goes in my mouth" stage of babies!

back in toronto

Uh. Um. We've been back home for a few days now... Well, I guess I should admit it to myself that it's getting close to a few weeks... But returning home has meant not only lots of toys for the kids, but also LOTS and LOTS and LOTS of work for me. I'm trying to juggle between studio work and taking care of Stella and Kaspar and weeding a yard and washing dishes and making breakfasts, lunches and dinners and washing laundry and floors and lamps and visiting friends and family and so on... and so on...





Kaspar was thrilled to return back home, where all the usual suspects of toys were all of a sudden like a brand new discovery. Talking to his dad in English was also a little bit of a challenge for the first few days.Stella was a little perplexed about the time change again, but was back on track in two days. I was swarmed instantly with orders and work for both galleries as well as individuals and upcoming shows. And the house needed to be readjusted from "a bachelor's flat" back to "a family dwelling". The yard that had seen so much rain that not only the plants and trees had grown and overgrown their flowerbeds, but also a swarm of weeds had overtaken some of the emptier patches of earth and grown high enough to tickle my armpits. So, needless to say, blogging has not been my priority.

three

Kaspar turned three and had a birthday party and smashed up his lip and had a big fat lip to blow out his candles with. The kids had fun and today is hangover day for both myself and the kids. Kaspar slept in until 10am. This NEVER happens!!! And Stella slept well past her usual 5am wake up time, as well.

i must bragg

I must bragg! No, not about the garden, but about my mother. She spends the better half of the year taking care of my garden in Toronto and helping me take care of my kids, yet still, when she gets back to her own garden in Latvia she manages to have it look like a botanical paradise in no time. And it's not like all she does is gardening. At the moment she's managing a demanding interior design project for an agricultural building. Go figure!!!

a long one

I think I owe Stella and her grandparents and dad a little update regarding the milestones she has reached in the last few weeks, because I have been a lousy blogger and have not recorded the updates as they come… sorry guys! My shoes have taken priority. Ha!

Well, Stella has been crawling (or shuffling along is more like it) for the last two weeks. She began shuffling along ever so slowly a few days before her 7 month birthday and by now she has learned to do it in three speeds. The first I call “she’s not moving” move. She does it ever so discreetly and slowly, but before you realize that she’s moving she has already reached an object which should have in the first place been way out of her reach. The second speed is the so called “shuffle” speed, which gets her across a medium sized room at a decent pace, especially, if she sees something she likes on the floor ahead of her. The third is the fastest, but also a little dangerous, still. When she gets super excited, she likes to lift her butt up, get up on her hands and knees, then swing back and forth a few times and plunge forward sometimes moving her hands in a position ahead and sometimes not. Needless to say, at times she ends up face first on the floor and that isn’t always the happiest of situations. However, as days go by she gets better and better at it and probably by the time we get on the plane she’ll be a crawler. As if I need that on my hands! And speaking of planes… My mother has abandoned me. I will be flying back with my two kiddos on my OWN. No. I cannot say I’m happy about it. Not one bit!

Stella is also sitting on her own these days. It has not been long, just a week or so, but it most certainly has opened up new possibilities. Playing while sitting instead of lying down on ones stomach is a whole new thing for Stella. And it buys me more time to do some of the things I want to get done during the day and cannot, if Stella is sitting in my lap, on my hip or in a baby sling across my shoulder. You see, traveling restricts a parent to only a handful of smaller sized baby gadgets and it makes one appreciate the oodles of high chairs, baby seats, jolly jumpers, excersaucers and other equally terribly named and badly designed plastic objects made in China. As much as I hate the look of these items and often will curse their poor design (under my breath, of course) I have to admit that they are cheap and give me much needed time (with free hands!) while keeping Stella thoroughly occupied. Of course, if I had oodles of cash at my disposal I’d buy the stuff that’s well designed, beautiful and made in Canada. Some people do make beautiful baby gear!!! However … I opt for the next best thing … second hand and freebies left on the curbside by those, whose kids have outgrown these large plastic contraptions.

On June 18th Stella popped her first tooth, but I forgot to mention that only a few days later came the second and now she is a proud owner of two very sharp teeth and she bites, bites like crazy! She also looks very funny with these two little saw blades behind the bottom lip. She’s constantly touching them with her tongue and occasionally even bites her own tongue. It looks very cute! Charming… especially when she giggles and laughs while doing it. She is a very happy and smiley baby, still very mellow and easy going compared to her older brother. And a great sleeper!!! Comparing Kaspar and her in that field is impossible. They are like the opposite poles. Even though it’s obvious that Stella is still teething and most likely will be going home with not only two but three teeth, she still sleeps “like a baby” (Don’t you love the absurdity of that saying?) and hardly ever complains at night!

Now, speaking of the older brother… He’s turning three on Thursday! That’s tomorrow. Yikes! I do remember him turning two last year, but I hardly remember the year in between. It seems like it’s only been days since he turned two and only months since he was born. Time is a speedy little creature! Kaspar is so excited about his birthday! He keeps asking me: “How many more times do I have to sleep and wake up before it will be my birthday?” He’s been singing the “happy birthday to you” (you wouldn’t know it, if it weren’t for the lyrics, of course) song all day today. “But I’m only practicing, mommy”, he tells me. We’ve promised him balloons for his birthday. He wants “all red balloons, all red; and one yellow, and one green, and one blue, and a pink one, and a white one and orange, too, but not black; black balloons are angry; let’s have all red balloons, ok?” Pleasing a three year old on his birthday is not as easy as some might have you believe!

an ode to an old shoe

My favourite summer slippers just fell apart. Fell apart completely. Un-fix-ably so!!! And I’m sad to be getting rid of them. They have been my companions for five summers. They have traveled to Latvia several times, to Spain and Lithuania and Estonia and probably some other countries I cannot think of at the given moment and many trips to cottages of friends and relatives and gone through dry and wet weather and finally they have decided that enough is enough… So, I bid fare well to my good old Fluevogs slippers. And it would only be fair to say that even though I have only ever owned four pairs of Fluevogs in my life, they have always grown to be the shoes (or boots) I wear the most and wear the longest. Let’s all have a cheer for Fleuvogs! And the best part - I only paid 39$ for them!

strawberries

Sadly strawberry season is almost over. We have made the best of it and it would not surprise me if between me, Stella and Kaspar we have taken care of approximately 40 pounds of the sweet, juicy goodness. Strawberries here are absolutely spectacular, because most of them are not grown commercially and never shipped much further then the local market or even better, just sold on the side of the highway, right next to the field. Highways here are just a two lane road, paved, but just wide enough for one lane each way and traffic outside of Riga can hardly be called that. So, it’s really awesome to be able to stop on the side of the road, pick up a box of strawberries and have the farmer even trust you enough to say – next time you drive by this way, drop the empty box on the side of the field there, would you?

In the beginning I was reluctant to give Stella strawberries. I had heard somewhere that babies can be very sensitive and even allergic to strawberries. But after a while I began to feel guilty, especially when all the berries were disappearing into my own mouth one after another and Stella was just reaching, reaching for them, but never quite got there. So, I began by giving her one berry, then a few with a banana and the next day a few more with some oatmeal… and before I knew it she was eating strawberries and covering herself in red juice and making funny faces and there didn’t seem to be a problem with any allergies or anything like that whatsoever. Phew!

jāņi - summer solstice

Jāņi. It's probably the second biggest if not the most celebrated national holiday here in Latvia. Christmas is probably the longest/biggest/most celebrated/most commercial holiday and then right after that comes Jāņi or Summer solstice, which is not nearly as commercial, but is taken rather seriosly in some way or form by most people here.
This year the week-end was a four day long holiday, but some years Jāņi week-end ends up being even up to five days long.

Traditionally Jāņi was celebrated by staying up all night on the shortest night of the summer, making wreaths, having song "wars" between neighbouring farms, lighting fires, singing and dancing around the fires even jumping over the fires... looking for the blossom of the fern.

But I'm really no encyclopedia. I'm sure that even Wikipedia will give you more on the subject of Jāņi.

all fixed and running

My long period of silence between the 19th and today is not without a reason. A couple of weeks ago my pal the laptop died a swift and painless death. Try as I might I was unable to resurrect it. It was one of those odd situations where after accepting another Windows update, I restarted the computer just to find out that it would not start. I could now go into a long and detailed series of complaints against Microsoft, Windows and PC’s in general, but I’m afraid to open that can of worms. All I can say is that this incident once again has reconfirmed my love for the Mac. That said, I’ll go on with the story. I was left with a dead laptop on my lap (No pun intended!) and no idea where to turn for help. I began by calling all my relations and I guess it should not surprise me that I ended up finding four professional “computer dudes” within my direct circle of family and friends. The first happened to get his thumb cut off by a table saw shortly before I could summon his help. The second, as it turned out, had just won gold medal in yacht racing, in his age group, in Latvia and had decided to skip the country and go on a long holiday (Probably blowing his prize money!). The third was climbing Kilimanjaro and was due back no sooner than September (His friend sighed into the receiver and added: “as long as he’s still alive, come September”). No, I’m not making any of this up. Really! That’s the craziest part. It could be explained by the size of this country or maybe all the people I know are a little “out there”. The last of the four was sick with the flu, but willing and able to take in my dead lap top regardless, and promised to do it at home so that I could save a few extra bucks. Yeah, it turns out that fixing this lap top through a known and reputable company in Latvia could have cost me nearly as much as buying a used one on e-bay. Go figure!

Well, after I finally got a hold of the fourth computer dude the laptop got fixed in a matter of a week or so. However, I did lose a whole stack of pictures and files in the process. It was a good lesson, a good slap on the wrist so to speak… I have begun making regular and careful back-ups now. It turns out that viruses can hide even amongst things like Windows updates and having the latest Norton (Including all latest security updates) does not necessarily mean you’re safe. I hate it!

But I love having my lap top back! :-)

Since the last blog post Stella has sprouted her second tooth on the bottom. It announced itself only a couple of days after the first. She’s also beginning to shuffle across the floor on her belly and occasionally even lifts her but up in the air in a crawling position. Oh, and she began to sit on her own just last week. Kaspar is slowly forgetting how to speak English and learning more and more current Latvian slang from his senior cousins and friends, some of which is not really approved by me. So, we occasionally have some serious stand offs regarding the appropriate use of language. I never thought that I’d be having these sorts of problems before the age of three! C’est la vie!

I’m sure there are a few other things I could mention, but I’ll leave some of it for the next blog post. I’m tired and the Song and Dance Festival starts tomorrow. I need to catch up on some sleep before the coming week of busy festivities and late nights.

tooth

Stella has a tooth! Finally! At six months and ten days on the nose she is finally got a little tiny saw edge of a tooth on the bottom right hand side. She's happy to show it off, as you can tell, but pictures don't do it justice just yet. However, just give her a finger or a hand and you'll no doubt will sport a nasty little bite mark in no time.

grey sky

ever tried one handed typing? how about the one handed one fingered typing? it's a preoccupation of mine these days. imagine a laptop on a kitchen counter. stella fluttering about in my lap no less then half a meter away from the counter. yeh. her ability to reach far away objects of her desire is unprecedented. so, my forever expendable right arm is reaching across the coffee mug, the counter, across stella, towards the computer... if i use this laptop much longer the backspace button will wear out, no doubt.

it's been raining the last few days. cool refreshing summer rain. for latvia it's a sure sign that summer solstice is approaching. it always rains during 'jani'. i don't know if it's true, but so the saying goes. i cannot complain, though. the yard was in desperate need of some rain as it had been warm and sunny and dry for the last six weeks. the farmers have been complaining, too, on the local newscast almost nightly. not me! we've loved every moment of this super fine summer weather. however, kaspar has been thrilled about the rain, too. yesterday he decided to do some serious digging in the damp earth. or as he'd like to put it: "i need to do some gardening, mom!" i realized i'd left his raincoat at my brother's, so we designed a brand new style of rain gear and we're going to market it as the "super fine, super fast, super recycled" rainwear. what do you think?

stories told

I remember being told that kids get really interesting after they begin talking. I did not believe it, though. I enjoyed every stage of Kaspar’s growth. But now, when I’m faced with a six month old and a two/almost three year old, I’m beginning to see what they were talking about. It’s much more fascinating to follow the daily events of an almost three year old then those of a six month old baby. After all, how much can I talk about her drooling, teething, sucking on her toes and so on? Kaspar on the other hand is full of surprises and NEVER ending chatter.

The other day I opened my email to find a handful of fire truck pictures for Kaspar from his grandparents. He climbed into my lap and we did not stop looking at them until the laptop finally ran out of juice and even then I had to deal with heartfelt tears. Kaspar has the wildest imagination. One or two pictures of his liking are often enough to spark questions that in return will begin an entire story in his little head. And the questions he asks are not of the easy sort. I often find myself speechless, looking for a good answer and while I wait trying to figure out a good reply, he just continues with the same question... repeating it over and over again, as thought to help me understand it better or something. It’s a strange quirk. But I think that most kids his age like to repeat questions. I know that some of my friends have complained about the “why? Why? Why?” period in their toddlers’ lives. Kaspar has not taken to the simple “why?” question. His ‘why?’s are much more complicated. Take for instance the fire truck pictures. He asks sort of like this: “If this really is a parade, and I think you’re wrong mommy, then there should have been a Santa Claus or some elves somewhere or at the very least balloons. They don’t make parades without balloons or elves. I know! I’ve been to parades. Remember? Remember? Remember?” And even though I try to tell him that I know he’s been to the Santa Claus parade his “Remember?” keeps coming until I do remember, yes, St. Patrick’s day parade or as he likes to call it the parade with the green elves and clowns. But before I finish a sentence he’s already flying : “So, if it’s not a parade then why would all the fire trucks be on grandpa’s street? Maybe there was a fire in the next building? Or maybe there was one in their building? Maybe even a small fire in their apartment.....?” And you can just tell that the drama is beginning to build, regardless of my answers to his questions, he’s already begun his story. His eyes are shining; he speaks a little faster, a little hurried. He leans in to the computer a little and continues: “Maybe, MAYBE... grandma left some matches on the counter (he has just learned about match safety, because here a lot of people have gas stoves that have to be lit with a match!) and some little boy came into the kitchen and took the matches and all of a sudden one match lit up and then one more and OH BOY, I think that boy is going to get into trouble! Isn’t he? Isn’t he? Isn’t he? Isn’t he? Isn’t he?” Eventually his story took us back to the firemen having to drive up grandma’s street and save the burning kitchen and grandma being very thankful... and the firemen having to wash their dirty trucks... etc. etc.

It’s interesting, though, that he is very aware of it being a fictional story. If I was to ask a day later what the story was about the trucks and grandma’s place, he’d more than likely just look at me perplexed and confused. He seems to create these stories in the moment and leave them just as fast behind. And all of them start with a very, very exaggerated “MAYBE...” I love listening to him tell the stories and sometime even help him along by carefully interjecting a little detail or two that take him in a new direction. It’s amazing with how much detail a three year old child is able to tell a story! They’re sometimes way better then the published stories in children’s books. If he continues like this then by the time Stella is ready for bedtime stories I won’t have to tell them myself. I’ll have a way better storyteller in the house... Ha!

not so very sick

Well, Saturday sale was not meant to be for me. Even though I was feeling much better, Stella came down with fever on Thursday night and I ended up staying home with her on Friday as well as today just to make sure the fever is over and done with. Like most baby fevers it came and went over the course of about 8-12 hours and I’m clueless as to what caused it. Since she has not had any of mine or Kaspar’s symptoms, I’m guessing that she might have had something as insignificant as teething fever. Who knows? She has been teething during the course of the last week, that’s for sure. We travel with 5-10 shirts and/or bibs everywhere we go. It does not take much more than 15 minutes for the entire front of her shirt, from neck to waist to be soaked through. Maybe she’s caught a cold because of it. Ha! What does it matter, really? I’m just glad that she’s better and Kaspar is on the mend, as well, and I’m getting better if ever so slowly, too. Thanks for all the good energy!

I was talking to a Toronto pal yesterday and we were comparing notes on laryngitis infections, common colds, flu and remedies of all sorts ... and ... it made me realize once again how much of what we do is influenced by the way we’ve been brought up and the way we are used to solving problems. Do I sound profound? Ha! Not really where I meant to go. However, our conversation sparked an interesting train of thought... bare with me for a moment...

Most people go to see a doctor as soon as they get sick and most doctors will prescribe a medication of some sorts to heal the ailment, whatever it may be. Most of the medications in their list of contents have things that are completely foreign to us, at times even unpronounceable chemicals and drugs that we have never heard of. Yet, we wholeheartedly trust that this medication will make us better, because the doctor said so. Or maybe it’s because we paid a plump sum of money for the drug at the pharmacy? Whatever the reason, but generally we’ll trust the drug. Ok, you might argue that this is a simplified version of the truth, but you can relate to it as truth generally speaking, right?

On the other hand, if I told you to put a hot (well, let me correct myself, very warm – so that you don’t burn yourself!) baked onion on your ear for about four hours to heal an awful earache, you’d probably roll your eyes and not really want to take me seriously. Most people don’t. Yet, I’ve grown up on healing wisdom like that. I’ve used it and know that it works, at times even better then the drugs. I don’t know why it works, but it works. Perhaps the reason why we have not found a cure for cancer or aids is strictly based on money? Sounds like some crazy conspiracy theory? No! But think about it ... If people invested the millions of dollars that are being invested in research of drugs and chemicals, instead in researching commonly known herbs, fruits and vegetables that are known to have healing properties, then maybe we’d know why a baked onion can heal an earache faster than any drug will. Maybe we’d also know a lot more about the healing properties of that onion, ginger, lemon etc. But why would a company invest money in something like that? They cannot make big bucks selling onions. Of course not! So, I figure it’s only logical to give every home remedy a try before going for the hard core drugs, because an onion is not just a part of your daily vitamin C intake. That’s only scratching the surface of it. Medicine has its place, no doubt about it. But first we should all take the onion seriously!

Hanging out with some older folk in my family, talking about their memories of times past and seeing my grandparents homestead again has made me, once again, want to write down all these little wisdoms that come from within, that come from a time when we were simpler yet wiser as a human kind.

Maybe one day I’ll post a handful of my family’s recipes for well being on the blog. Or publish a book. Or just keep them in a dusty box under my desk and take a peak once in a while when fighting another nasty bout of laryngitis. In either case I’m glad to have my little box of treasures!

sick

Arrgh. I’m sick. I hate being sick. I was sure that I was going to be unscathed. However I seem to have gotten it worse than the kids. Stella is just a little restless at night and congested. I can tell she's fighting a bug of some sorts. Kaspar has been sick for several days, but only with minor cold symptoms and a hacking cough during the night. But together it's enough to keep me up at night more often than I’d like. So, I’m blaming my laryngitis on the sleepless nights. Got to blame it on something, right? And I have it bad! Very bad!!! It’s the most terrible timing, too. I got into this big craft show and sale in Riga very last minute. I had missed the application date by a mile and I was sure they would not accept me, but they did. It’s taking place this Saturday and Sunday in an outdoor museum not unlike a typical “pioneer village” in Canada. I’m still planning to do it, but I do have some back-up if I end up being deathly ill. I hope I’ll get better. It’s Thursday night as we speak and I have not a voice and my throat kills and I’m chewing on raw onion just to keep the tickle in the throat at bay. I hope you feel for me. I need some sympathy... say a prayer for me and send all your good thoughts my way... I need all the help I can get.

a little irony

What irony... After posting yesterday's post I was looking at some of my pictures and found this one. Kaspar is in the middle. Just look at the kid... talk about overdressed. Unfortunately I cannot take credit for dressing him. It was his own doing with the help of his cousins. Maybe he's just trying to fit in?

through rose coloured glasses

greenhouse

Have you ever noticed how busy life suddenly gets, when you are on holidays? It’s this strange phenomenon. I always make these grand plans of catching up on all these little things (like organizing my ‘itunes’ and sorting pictures and such) when I’m away from home, but they never get done. It’s almost as though I need the stress of a very busy life to get anything done at all.

I was convinced that while in Latvia (especially now that I have a work lap-top!) I’d be blogging a lot more, too. Alas, it isn’t so! It seems like every minute of the day is taken up by one insignificant little thing after another and before you know it the day is over. And even though Kaspar has begun napping again (He often sleeps a good two to three hours during the day! Yay!!!), days when both kids are asleep at the same time are far too rare. So, when it does happen, I grab the opportunity to do a thing or two.

The weather has been blissfully warm and sunny and we’ve been spending a lot of time outdoors. It’s ironic that despite the usually cool springs here, this one has been consistently warm and sunny. I’ll even go as far as to say that every single day the projected temperature has been warmer than that of Toronto. And that’s a true rarity! I’m sure Toronto will catch up by the end of this week... and we’ll probably get slammed with some unusually cold days sooner or later... In the mean time, I’ll enjoy the 20+ degrees during the day, the sun and the wind in my hair and the nice cool nights, where it’s enough to keep a window open so that you can snuggle into the blankets and breathe fresh crisp night time air and listen to the nightingales.

The thing that perplexes me the most, as I stroll through the streets and watch other mothers here, is the way they dress their kids. Honestly... it’s a little disturbing. It’s not unusual to see a mother dressed in a summery top and shorts, probably sandals on her feet, lugging around her two year old with a close fitting hat on his or her head, the kind that has ears and they’re always tied tightly below the chin, a parka, socks (sometimes even a pair of tights under the pants) and most certainly long pants and long sleeves under the parka. It’s as though all the children are sick. And even a sick kid in Toronto would not be as over dressed as these poor kids. I’m sure that I have left some mothers wondering what I’m staring at them for. On the other hand, I’m sure I’m being started at as well. I’ve named this phenomenon “the greenhouse child”. In Latvia this is the norm, unfortunately. My brother’s wife and I have had some amazing laughs at times. She is on my side of the “the greenhouse child” issue and her stories of children her kids meet at the daycare are not only extremely amusing, but also a little frightening. Most mothers in Latvia are of the age old (at least for Latvians) belief that the only way to keep a child healthy is to dress, dress and dress them very well. And it’s being taken to the extreme. I do remember vaguely being told to pull my hat over my ears when I was a child and told to wear a scarf and stuff like that, but I had never noticed how extremely cautious parents here are.

I won’t go into the details, but there is also the “no ice cream” rule for anyone who’s got a runny nose, sore throat, cough or even cold hands. A drink is never served cold from the fridge to a child no matter how hot the day might be. They like to add a tad bit of boiling water to anything that comes out of the fridge even milk. Juices get served lukewarm. Just imagine – lukewarm grapefruit juice. Yuck! Anyways... you get the picture, right? And people stare, they really do stare at my kids, who are allowed to wear a t-shirt and shorts or bare feet on a baby, because HEAVENS!!! It’s +23!!!

how can it be?

I'm tired. How can I be tired at 10pm? But I am. Stella was up this morning just before six. Kaspar shortly after. Days seem long if you wake up at six and don't pack it in until after midnight. We spent hours on the beach today. Even though Kaspar was wearing a woolly winter hat and the wind was cold and brisk, we ended up spending the better part of two hours just watching three boys dig around in the sand. If only life was one big sandbox, huh? Stella is not yet of age to be in the sand. She at the stage where everything within reach has to be first put into her mouth. So, obviously, sand would not be a good idea. I'm anxiously waiting for the return of warmer weather. My only consolation is that even in Toronto it's cold. Here it's normal really to have a much cooler and longer spring before the truly warm summer weather hits. Well, I'm really out of steam today. So. This is all you get.

a few snippets

Kaspar is proud to present ( at 2 y. and 10 months) his own signature. He just learned how to write the letter K and now is ready to sign not only his own drawings but anything that might belong to him, even the underwear he wears. Of course at the ripe age of almost three he's entitled to want to sign his own underwear and t-shirts and even the DVD player... but I admit that I was not too pleased when I found him with a marker in hand leaning over his sister. Thanks to Crayola, we did manage to get her clean fairly easily, but It took me most of the day trying to convince my son that you do NOT need to sign everything just because you know how to. I never thought that I'd be cursing the day I taught him to write the first letter, but I'm close, very close...... Wow!

Stella has been introduced to real food. She loves it. I don't, though. I now have to clean her up not only twice but five, six, seven times a day and it all comes out according to colour scheme. Carrots are orange, avocadoes green, peas are also greenish yellow, blueberries can be black blue but oatmeal comes in the consistency of glue. I had forgotten about this part of babyhood... And not only that... but every time I feed her I'm covered in whatever food I'm trying to get into her. Literally head to toe! Which means... having to do laundry a couple of times a day, having to wash my hair a couple of times a day, having to wash her a couple of times a day. But the excitement of another mouthful of food disappearing into the toothless grin of a mouth is priceless. It would be even better if she did not purse her little lips and "pbbrrrrr" blow it all out into my face every few minutes. She loves eating and that’s more then I have ever been able to say about Kaspar.

There is something to be said about being away from home. I am only beginning to realize how different my life is these days when I’m not bound by housework, the yard, organizing boxes of toys, catching up on emails or even fitting in an hour or two late at night in the studio. My only responsibility these days is to my kids and it is by no means a small job, but... for the first time in a long time I’m able to concentrate on just that – my kids. It’s kind of refreshing. Sometimes a little boring perhaps, but who wouldn’t be bored standing and waiting at a playground for a two year old to be done playing with his boat. It only lasted two hours and ten minutes! On the other hand it’s always challenging, always changing, always refreshing and really unpredictable. It’s weird how fast the days fly by.