Growing... growing... and ...

Kids are growing up. I found these pictures, taken over the last couple of years at the same spot, in Elora ... just at the end of our beloved Elora Gorge walk, done so many times, in so many different types of weather, with so many different guests .... I can hardly remember it all.  Oooohh... Memories... From barely being able to reach, Kaspar has grown tall enough to hang under the pump instead :)

funny

I just recently received a link from a friend to a site about funny things kids say and do. And while reading and laughing out loud, I realized that I have a whole slew of my own to share... not just for your enjoyment, but for me and my own family to be able to look back at later down the road, when all those little details are already long forgotten.

One morning maybe a day or so before Christmas, Kaspar wakes up in a foul, foul mood. He stomps down the hall to the bathroom and does not even reply, when I ask what's wrong. Finally, a few minutes later, still on the edge of a tantrum he practically screams at me:
"I wanted to wake up at 7.00!" (At this point the clock in the bedroom is showing only 7.45... not that late, really...)
I gently ask, not wanting to edge him towards more upset: "Why, love? It's a holiday. You can sleep in on holidays. There is no school today."
Kaspar: "But I had to get up at 7.00!!! (gasps) I have so much to do before Christmas. You just don't understand! (he blows a sigh)!!!"
Me: "Really? Maybe I can help you do what you want to do?"
Kaspar: "NO! No. You cannot help. You don't know how to play RoaBlocks (a video game)! I was going to get to the next level AND watch an episode of Pink Panther!
I started laughing, of course! And that did not help the situation. It only became worse after that and it took him a whole hour or so to get it.... and to say sorry. But he did get it eventually. And he did say sorry on his own accord. But it made me think that I might just have an overly determined and severely devoted child on my hands. What will happen when he is a teen and has actual pressure to hold up to? I wonder.

Stella's top funny saying this summer was calling daddy "the best-est bum wiper in the whole wide world!" I myself only got the "best cuddle" or "best breakfast maker". Not nearly as pompous sounding :-) lol

hungry

What do you think this kid asked me, as she began posing for this picture and I asked her to smile - I'm hungry, mommy! Can I have a snack? She wanted to have a snack while posing for a picture! We had just spent the morning getting ready for her Christmas concert at her school, had breakfast, put hair in pony tails, dressed up and were about to put on boots and mitts and all that jazz... and yet, as soon as we took a little break from the hustle and bustle of the morning... it was "I'm hungry!" This one is so funny like that! We cannot leave the house with her if one of us is not carrying a snack in a pocket or a bag. She is always hungry. It does not matter if she's just had breakfast or just finished a plate of dinner. Stella's first words, when heading somewhere, anywhere ... even if we're out for a matter of a few minutes... are guaranteed to be "I'm hungry!" She's hungry in the car. She's hungry on a walk. She's hungry on a bike. She's hungry as soon as she leaves our house, it seems. It's crazy and funny at the same time. On a positive note, if we ever get stuck in a snow storm, or get lost in the middle of nowhere, or are stranded on the side of the road... at least I know that our car glove compartment is loaded with non perishable snacks, nuts and sweets! My version of first aid kit :-)

throwing a birthday party for a kid 101

I have to come out and admit it. Stella turned four this year and I had been too busy, every year right around this time, to throw her a birthday party. Every year for the last three years Kaspar has asked if we were going to have a birthday party for Stella? But instead of a party she has had  - the amazing cup cake day (which almost passed for a birthday party, if only Kaspar had kept his mouth shut) with her godparents; a day of Christmas related activities at Latvian school; and a morning decorating gingerbread houses, but NO birthday party. I cannot say that SHE cared much. On no. She was just fine with it. I'm not sure if she even remembers the first two years. Highly doubt it. But Kaspar does. And he has been THOROUGHLY outraged that there have been birthday parties for him (and several that he can think of!), but none for Stella. Therefore, despite the business of being too busy during this season of fun and giving and doing and and partying... all that jazz... we were set out to have a birthday party for Stella this year.

But it ain't as easy as it sounds.

There are the different crowds, the list making, the place picking, the food making, the theme and the invitations, the cake and the loot bags, the games that need to be organized and the prizes to go with the games, the decorations and the thank you cards that follow. Oh, dear God! These days throwing a birthday party can seem as daunting as organizing a wedding. Whatever happened to just boiling a few hot dogs, feeding the kids some sponge cake and then letting them run wild for a few hours on a sugar high while parents sit around comparing battle wounds and horror stories? I'm most certainly pro the latter version. Is that the old fashioned way of doing things? Doesn't anyone ever do that anymore? Come on...

Who has the time to figure out who is ON the list and who is OFF the list. Of course the kid will want to invite the entire class, if given a chance. Living in Toronto, that would be about 28 kids (plus siblings if they're close in age). And then there are the kids in the family and the kids of closest friends and the kids from music class and the ones from ballet class... and the list goes on. No way! I suggest that you don't even open that can of worms. Kids should have no say in who they invite! And as I found out this year, the best way of making sure you don't end up with too many kids in your house (even if you, yourself are making the list) is to send out invites no more then a week ahead of time.

As for picking a place for the party - there are so many places that will offer to host a party for your children, but I've learned to be weary of these. They are similar to airlines advertising seat sales to Florida during school break. Once you add all the bells and whistles, make it round trip v/s one way and pay various taxes - oh my! Even though you're guaranteed to have something broken in the house once a handful of four year old's on sugar trample through and you are certainly going to have some sticky floors and sticky walls, too, if you're lucky... it's still way better to have it in the house then to have to pay the "surprise" bill at the end of the day. At least you know what you're dealing with, right?

I have no idea when and why pizza became the food of choice for kids' parties, but ordering pizza for a party does seem to be the rule of thumb these days. I don't like it, necessarily. My complaint is that you only have two kinds of choices. There are either the cheap, chain, bad for you, fast food type of pizza places that cost parents mere pennies a slice, but don't taste any good and the list of ingredients for the sauces and the doe include variety of words that are not only NOT readable but most certainly not understandable (unless you have a chemistry degree). The second option are the "little guy" pizza places, most of which are gourmet pizzas with variety of fancy toppings, spiced sauces, fancy meats, thin crusts and prices that are through the roof. What happened to the happy in-between? Where did they all go? Kids just want something bread-y with tomato sauce and cheese, how had can it be to bake that? Where did all those Italians with their family run little pizza places disappear to?

Oh... I'm running out of time tonight.... This one is to be continued... 

finally some halloween details

To be very honest... I am NOT one of those "OH MY GOD, I LOVE HALLOWEEN" parents. In fact, if I had a choice, I'd probably ignore Halloween and Valentine's Day and a whole bunch of other commercially viable holidays in this lovely country of ours. The commercial hype and crowd mentality of it all truly does frighten me, especially so, when there is no substance to it in the first place. ( a topic for a whole different blog...)

However, I have kids. And kids like carving pumpkins. Kids like getting dressed up. Kids like walking around in the dark. Kids like candy and decorating and spider webs and spooks and masks and...  kids like all those mysterious and scary creatures in the wood... and the neighbourhood, too. And kids make one adapt and make one make compromises. Right? Right! So, here I am... going out for Halloween with my kids and making the most of it.

Our Halloween saga began some weeks ago, when we began talking about getting some pumpkins and Kaspar insisted that one pumpkin was not enough. His main reasoning was that he might want a "scary faced" pumpkin, but Stella might be afraid and might want a "princess faced" pumpkin instead. By the time we got to the pumpkin patch, we were already picking out THREE pumpkins. Somehow I missed the argument for that one! But once we had picked out three - the mommy, daddy and kid pumpkin - the obvious was inevitable... WHAT ABOUT THE OTHER KID? Let me tell you, that one is very hard to argue against, especialy if you DO have two kids! Lol! So, we ended up with four carving pumpkins and only one carver,  because the other one is on the road :-) And you must be kidding yourself if you think that carving one will be plenty. Faces and mustaches, eyes and eye lashes, cheeks and noses, chins and patterns, tongues and bow ties were drawn on all four, and all four HAD TO BE carved! Only when the face on the last one got rubbed off by mistake I had my chance to pipe in and suggest we carve a few houses on it, instead. My, seemingly innocent suggestion was followed by Kaspar's idea that he should be the one carving the third pumpkin, because, after all it's his pumpkin... is it not?

If you've never been a mother/father standing next to a six year old waving a knife around, puncturing and slashing a pumpkin, you might know what I felt like. I was freaking out! I was very afraid that he'd cut himself. Or cut Stella in the excitement of it all. But in the end it worked out ok. He carved a great big T shape into the largest pumpkin and announced that it was a headless cowboy in a dress (when the top of the pumpkin was removed it grew a head!) That was his logic! I had to respect it. Until our neighbour Chris came by and asked point plank "WHAT in the world happened to THAT pumpkin?" And I almost cracked, I came close to laughing out loud. But Kaspar was right behind me and I managed to wink at Chris and got Kaspar to give him the whole story. (Chris has two kids, so, he quickly caught on!)

By the time the clock struck six on Halloween night, I was scrambling... trying to get the kids ready, giving out candy to the first little Halloween wanderers, layering t-shirts and sweaters under costumes, finding gloves and hats and trying to set up my friend's hubby (who's new to this country and new to the whole Halloween experience) with detailed instructions on what is to be done, when the children come to the door. After all I had to take my kids out! We got out onto the street shortly before 7pm. I was already exhausted!

We attempted to keep a calm pace down our street, together with our friends, who have a two year old, but very soon realized that my kids are not going to let me keep a calm pace. Stella was considerably faster then a two year old, but Kaspar was pretty much five houses ahead of us no matter how fast Stella and I were going. I was either going to have a "screaming, falling, scraping her knees and freaking out three year old" on my hands or I was going to loose my six year old. On the next street over I ran into my friend Lily, oh what a blessing that was! We split the kids. I was the designated parent of Flower Child and Tinker Bell while Dorothy and Storm Trooper stormed ahead at great speeds, through the streets with Lily. It took us nearly till 9 pm just to walk the length of the famous Lavinia avenue. Lavinia avenue is well known in the neighbourhood for it's absolutely fantastic decorations, effects and community involvement in the Halloween festivities. Truly - it did stand up to the expectations. The previous two years Steve had taken the kids out and I had stayed home to give out candy, so I had missed the exquisite scenes on Lavinia. It was quite something! There were haunted houses; there was wine and beer and even mulled rum & cider offered to parents at different locations; there were buildings with screens in all the windows and haunting video effects; there were people (yes, live people) crawling out of graves in their front yards; there were at least seven movie screens with cartoons for kids of all ages; witches and goblins crawling around in the bushes and scaring the living daylights out of me... it was a crazy, crazy street to be on. And the crowds were just frightening. There were line-ups heading into some of the houses! If we gave out about 400 bags of chips and another handful of candy at our house, the houses on Lavinia must have been giving out candy in the thousands. Of course the kids loved it!

We came home with enough candy to last us a couple of years. Quite seriously, we had so much in the big bag that my wrists were hurting from carrying all of it around for the couple of hours. I was thrilled that Kaspar was more then willing to generously share his loot with our friend's who had helped us give out the candy at our house while we were away.

It was a nightmare trying to get the two of them in bed after. I don't think parenting is fair. Not when Halloween falls on a Monday night. And don't even start me ... the Tuesday morning all hell broke loose... Not fair. Halloween should never be on a week-day. I might have to start a petition.

ottawa

We spent long week-end in Ottawa, taking in the sights, sitting outdoors on sunny patios, going to a friend's wedding, and thanks to a great "hotwire" deal, swimming in the hotel pool for hours and hours at a time. Kaspar outlasted us all, having spent 3 hours (nearly two with me and the last hour and a half with Steve) in the pool at one time! He's getting to be a decent swimmer, I must admit.

The biggest surprise for me was the war museum (not counting the surprise our friends sprung upon us by literally getting married on the patio of the university pub!!!), which I had never seen (I am talking about the War museum now) and turned out to be an absolutely astounding, gorgeous piece of architecture! We spent some time there, walking around, exploring and enjoying the gorgeous warm temperature. Stella even found some dandylions :-) It felt more like spring, then fall... if one ignored the bright yellow and red trees everywhere.

On the way home we went pumpkin hunting. It turned out that all the pumpkin farms, the places that actually advertised "pumpkin picking" for the kids, were actually more like little Halloween entertainment one-stop-shops with petting zoo's and haunted houses and scary stories, face painting and bands, rides and hay rides and you name it.... they had it all. Best of all they all seemed to have 18$ - 20$ per person entrance fee!?! All we wanted was a couple of pumpkins. Or should I say -  All I WANTED was a couple of pumpkins? The strange part is that most of them did not even sell pumpkins!!! The good thing was that at 4 pm pretty much all of them were closing for the day or about to close for the day any minute and that was enough to talk the kids out of going in. Of course, my line was pretty much the: "There is no way I am paying 80$ for the family to enjoy this entertainment for ONE hour or LESS!" I know, I know.... absolutely nasty of me.

In then end, though, we got a hold of our friends Sue and Jeff at the farm (they run an organic farm in the area and have AMAZING VEGGIES!!! Just like the stuff I used to taste back at home, when I was a kid!) near Gananoque and the kids were more then happy to settle for a short play date with their kids. I was thrilled! Nearing Gananoque we did find a farm that was selling pumpkins and even though there was no one home (this being Thanksgiving Monday after all!), they had left a big line up of pumpkins in the front yard and a little jar of $$$ for those who want to buy. The kids picked a little family of four pumpkins ( the family, of course) and we were on our way to the farm for a little run around and stop over before taking on the last two hour stretch to Toronto.

The stop was much needed, as it turned out :-) Not only the kids got to play and go a little crazy with Mara and Neville and not feel too "stir crazy" in the car, but we pretty much crashed the end of their Thanksgiving dinner and were offered full plates of food and wine and a break in the trip that was much welcome. There is nothing better then  time spent with good friends!!! (even if we did crash their party, almost unannounced...)

After much detested traffic slow-downs and exhausted from the week-end out of town, we arrived home shortly before midnight with two children very much asleep in their car seats and a car full of pumpkins and other organic veggies from Roots Down Organic farms and happy... just very, very happy. :-) Happy belated Thanksgiving to the family we never met up with (sorry!) and everyone else out there and listening. We are very thankful for this day and the time we have in this world!!! Thanks!

fishing and the last week-end before school

The kids had the most amazing time last Labour day week-end. We spend about 4 days at our friends cottage with other kids and boats and forests and water and fire works and good weather despite the dismal forecast that was warning us not to head out of town. I'm so glad we did not get scared off by the weather forecast!!! Kaspar was probably the only one that caught any fish the whole week-end, but everyone was happy just fishing, none the less. It was very hard to come back to the city and get back to the schedule, start school, daycare ... but I'd say the hardest thing was starting another week of WORK!!! I'm allowed to complain, too!

We have been going to the Lake house on Healy Lake for years now ... and it was fun reminiscing with my friend Christina about the times before kids and the times, when we went up there with the kids as babies. Times change. Kids grow. So fast! Last summer Kaspar was still unsure about the water, this summer we could not get him out of the water. He spent hours and hours swimming and snorkeling and playing. Stella was always cold and still only floating in a life jacket. I bet it won't be long before she trades the life jacket for water wings and then swims on her own. Emils is already old enough and serious enough to take the others (even little Stella) on a little canoe ride along the coast of the lake while we sit on the deck watching! What a great few days... I will miss summer.

The kids also went on a long hike with dads one day and brought back not only snake skin but two gorgeous deer antlers! That was quite the find. I went mushroom hunting, but despite my somewhat decent knowledge of wild mushrooms in Latvia, I did not dare pick any, even though I could no complain about the finds in the vary small radius of the little cottage property.

We took a whole ton of pictures and avoided a whole many storms. And besides fishing and swimming - ate well and stayed up late and talked for long hours and laughed a lot and argued well, too. The kids had a time of their life - learning to ride a boat and learning to dance with sparklers, building fires and peeing n trees and sleeping in hammocks and sharing sleeping bags at night. Riding the boat under the stars and star gazing off the dock. We will have awesome memories for years to come! Thanks CGZ and EZ and EGZ and MGZ!!!!!

Kaspar's first day of GRADE ONE! I'm worried. All day... just this little worry in the back of my mind... what if... what if... what if... Of course, I know it's silly to worry like that. Of course, I know that I have done all I can do as a parent to make him ready for the day and for what is to come. Still... I have been thinking about him pretty much every minute of the day. It begins with all the little things like getting a lunch packed and making sure he will like what I packed and making sure he can open the lunch boxes himself... sharpening his pencils... getting a clean shirt and pants ready. But those are just all the things I think about. Then there are the issues that arise from being in a school yard on his own with a slew of other kids way older then him. There is also the self confidence... and me trusting in him and letting him go and make decisions on his own. I can only hope that I have given him enough of the self confidence, enough faith, enough strength, enough of all that he may need.... It's a big step, not only for Kaspar, but also for me.

first hair cut

It's no secret that my kids (yup, neither!) ever had any hair until they turned two. Stella has acquired her hair most recently and despite the spindly, shaggy little bit of hair that she does have, she always wants me to put it in pony tails and pin it up and put in barrettes and pins and flowers... uh. How am I supposed to explain to a very determined three year old that she simply does not have enough for a pony tail?

The other day I made the mistake of calling her little pig-tails in Latvian "peļastītes" (direct translation: mouse-tails) and she got very offended. She even shed a tear or two and asked me to apologize and made me promise never to call her "pony tails", ever, forever, never "peļastītes" again! Ever. Never. :-)

So, instead of making pony tails, we decided to take the kids to a hair dresser. For a real hair cut! Up until now I have done the cuts myself or we have just used a buzzer on Kaspars or my mom has done er best to make them sit through a cut for her... but we have never, ever, forever, ever been to a real hair salon. It was quite the event!

And one we cut the little spindly pony tails off that girl, we ended up two kids looking the same, again. :-) Not really. Stella's hair, as it turns out curls much more when it's short and tangles a lot less and Kaspar looks very proper and very ready for grade one. Happy all around! I think we're going back to Annamaria's again. Thank you, Crystal for the tip!!!

ode to parents...

I had an interesting chat with a good friend of mine today (who also happens to be a mother of two young kids!) about guns. Yes! Guns! All boys seem to have an exceptional attraction to guns. Even Stella is no exception, having grown up with a boy, that is. And the video games... and the chats with friends... and the water pistols... and Nerf guns... and Star Wars... and Superheroes... IT SEEMS LIKE IT IS ALL ABOUT GUNS & SHOOTING! There is no getting away from it, if you are about to be a parent today and have your children communicate with other kids, live in the reality of today and learn to use the computer, the internet or even watch TV... you cannot avoid the issue of GUNS. Crazy. Is it not? I only wonder how to lessen the impact of glorification of the gun to my kids? How do I let them know that there are other ways, other avenues to take? What do I do to protect then as long as I can? What do I say, when my kid wants a gun for his birthday? How do we, as parents, influence them right so that they not only know the danger of guns, but learn to realize that all this glorification is just that - GLORIFICATION. We live in a complicated world. And I have a very hard task at hand!

And then, just as I was beginning to feel like I did not have the right tools, or know the right things to day... my grandfather saved the day. Don't get me wrong, he's been dead for years! I was lucky enough to know some of my great grandparents and live for a long part of my childhood with my grandfather & grandmother in close quarters in Latvia. But what I remember the most are the stories. And some of those stories are about guns. Yes. They lived through the war and had stories to tell. And these stories, even if they might not be correct to the finite detail in my memory, are still legitimate stories. And they are the best stories to tell!!!

I retold the story of my granddad in the war to Kaspar and Stella one day, while driving in the car... after Kaspar had once again attempted to shoot and aim at Stella with his little, cute index finger. Here is the story I told:

"You know, I used to have a grandpa, too. Just like you guys have a grandpa. But he lived in Latvia a long time ago. And a very long time ago there was a war and he had to be a soldier in the war. He did not want to be a soldier, because he did not want to shoot at people. He believed that shooting at people does not make the world a better place. That's called a pacifist! But he had to be in the war anyways. Because the Russian army told him he had to. And so he joined the Russian army and became a soldier. But he still refused to have a gun. And he refused to shoot people. So, the army got very upset and did not know what to do with him. Finally they said, that he could sign up for something that did not require to shoot people. But there were not may things to sign up for. But, because he was a very good mechanic, he decided to sign up to be the "mine sweeper". Do you know what a mine sweeper does? (We went into a detailed description of mine sweeping here...) But my grandfather chose this position, because he believed in NOT hurting others and in doing GOOD for people. So, he said a prayer every time he went out in the field, asking God to protect him from a mine that could blow up and just did his job. And years later he returned from the war to his family safe and protected, without a scratch on his body! It might be magic, but you never know... maybe his good intentions protected him from all the anger and war and fighting that was going on. He chose to do the right thing and in return he was OK... what do you think?"

Uh, there were some questions and some silence as well... but I felt like I had told then the story. Maybe they will remember it for a while, maybe they will not. I pray that they do. That's all I can do, is it not?

Thank GOD for grandparents! Thank God for all that I have been taught by them and by my great grandparents and my parents... and thanks to all MY FRIENDS who are parents for sharing and helping me through these trying years! It's hard to be a parent today! It is! Thank you all for being there for me!