when i get older

Yes, my kids are singing the K'Naan song Wawin' Flag. Not just singing it, but singing it over breakfast, lunch and dinner and before going to bed. It makes me cringe just because I have been hearing it so much that I cannot stop hearing it in my head any more. It is taking over my dreams. (When I get to sleep, at least) I have never ever been so sick of a song. It all started with Spring concert at school and ever since, Kaspar comes home every day knowing more and more of the song and what he does not know he makes up. The song is long and repetitive, but of course that is exactly the thing that kids love. Yesterday even Stella began to chime in. I could not believe it. She makes up her own words, but she gets the sound of it right, totally right. However, if you want to know what I feel like - try listening to the song five, six, ten times in a row... or even in a day. Oh boy!

Stella has hit this extremely entertaining phase in her life right now. She’s just month short of being two and a half and as Kaspar likes to put it “She is sooooooo cute!” (Unfortunately, she knows it, too!) And I have to always remember to tell Kaspar that he was, once upon a time, also a very cute 2 year old.

Stella now speaks in full sentences, even if they are at times a little odd. She is able to say pretty much anything she wants to but most of the time she lets us know what she does NOT want. She has this funny way of speaking about anything in the negative. I first started to notice it when she was just putting two words together, but as the language skills progressed she continued to do so. For example, if we’re laving the house and it’s sunny out she will step out onto the porch and in a two year olds absolute excitement exclaim “It’s NOT raining out!” And I bite my lip instead of saying “Were you expecting rain all along?”

My Stalla favourites are:
While addressing me: “You’re not daddy!” (As if I ever pretended to be daddy?)

In the morning, while I pour her an apple juice, she’ll say: “That’s not coffee.” (Have I ever pored a coffee for her? Of course not!)

And she loves to trick you while looking at books and colours by pointing at red and saying things like… “Yellow? No, that’s not yellow!”

She will sometimes point at a dog in the street and say: “It’s not a cat!”

If she’s in the kids room playing with Leggo and I walk in… it’s always: “Kaspar is not playing Leggo!”

It is one of these things that makes me smile every time, because to an adult these statements seem so absurd. But Kaspar is right… She is very cute! And Kaspar more often then not, takes on the role of a parrot and repeats everything she says. So, now we have a whole new battle on our hands… all about having to STOP mocking.

a year long sabbatical

After a year long sabbatical and getting my life back on track, I have returned to the blog-o-sphere. I could blame a few of my friends and relatives who have nagged me with emails about our lives, on and off. But to be very honest I miss it myself. I miss “putting it on paper” so to speak. I like writing about the immediate experiences with my kids and being able to go back to them and re-read them myself. So, here we go. Another attempt. I will make no promises, but I will try to do a bit of blogging here and there as much as I can. This picture is kind of old now. It was taken just after Christmas in front of our tree, with the two of them. But it so clearly illustrates their character and what they’re like.

purple tongues and such

i've been thinking a lot these days. thinking about stuff in general and about my kids a lot, too. it's been such a busy spring, ever more so because of my accident. but even besides that... kaspar's first year at latvian school ended. he received his first ever report card. kids started daycare. stella has begun to talk. and i take it all in and have time to pause in the middle of the day and just think about it all. what a blessing. have to be thankful for the little things.

looking back at pictures over the last three years i'm surprised how alike stella and kaspar are and yet how so totally different at the same time. character wise - they're from totally different planets. physically they seem like two peas from the same pod. if kaspar still has no patience to feed himself with a fork and a spoon then stella on the other hand has absolutely no patience to wait and be fed. she eats as well as she can, but refuses to let go of that fork. yes, half her meal ends up on the floor and the other half in her lap, but she's eating, regardless. when kaspar knocks his foot or hand or head on something it's immediate tears and crying and a generally extreme and "dramatic situation". stella gets pushed around on a regular basis by her brother and more often then not trips over the different pairs of shoes she constantly tries on, but she hardly makes a fuss, except for the quick kiss she needs to receive on the bruised body part.

this morning the kids went back to the daycare, but reluctantly at best. long week-ends are hard. hard on all of us. i hate having to fight all morning with my son about the benefits vs. drawbacks of daycare. i wonder if that will ever end.

steve spent the better part of the week-end in spain (elliott brood played a festival in bilbao http://www.azkenarockfestival.com/arf/) and brought us back treats like "heart attack hearts from dirty free". i'm quoting kaspar, of course. he figured out that he was saying something funny pretty much immediately. after a short explenation of what "artichoke hearts" are and what "duty free'" means he let it go until bed time, when he asked me to explain the "dirty and free" all over again. it took a good half hour. i have to admit, the concept of "duty free" is hard for an adult to understand, let alone a three year old who does not know the difference between ten dollars and ten cents. i don't know if he got even a part of what i was trying to explain, i only know that his idea of dutiful is "yes, i can be dutiful, but i will NOT do anything if i don't wnt to!" go figure! i think "dirty and free" is a lot mor up his alley.

friday

we've had a week of doctor's appointments, naturopath consultations, chiropractic treatments and daily trips to the daycare and back. time is flying by. another two weeks and my casts will come off. knock, knock.

kaspar has developed a good relationship with the kids and staff at his daycare so much so that it's hard to get him out of there when we go to pick him up. on wednesday he literally started crying, when i told him that it was time to go home. go figure! mornings, however, are a different story. it's still hard to leave him without a bit of a fight and a few tears. on the other hand it's only been a week and we're told that he's having a great time once we leave. he even confirms this himself: "i stopped crying as soon as you were gone! really! i did!" the three year old logic does not stretch far enough, however, to answer my enquiry of 'why did you in the first place, then?'

stella has changed in the last five days so much so that it's hard to even know where and how to begin describing all the changes. she's speaking a lot. most of it is still in one or one and a half syllable 'words', but she's an amazing communicator and is so capable of letting her caregivers know what she wants and what she needs. she is able to ask for bottle and apple and a whole list of other things, too. she's also asking to be taken to the toilet, even at the daycare. that's a whole mountain of an achievement in itself. she's also developed a whole new independent streak and has instantly become less of a little 'cling-on'. my theory is that she has been so stressed about all the changes in our lives since the accident that she has felt really unsure all this time, but perhaps the very structured and consistent schedule of the daycare has actually caused her to feel more at ease. i don't know if the theory would fly with anyone else, but i'll stick to it for now, because it makes ME feel more at ease. call it what you want!

i had heard over the years from friends and even child related web sites, from other parents and grandparents that kids pick up germs at daycare much more often then those kids living at home during the days. i guess after this week we're joining the troops. within three days stella managed to develop what they call a 'daycare drip' (a constant runny nose). it's definitely not a pretty sight, but relatively harmless. i'm trying out all my home remedies and hoping that we can put a stop to it, before it becomes a nuisance. funny how with each change comes a whole slew of related problems and issues and stuff to deal with.

oh, the life of a parent!

it's been a long time

it's been a long time since i logged in and blogged... it's been one month and one week since the accident that changed my life so completely. it's been a month since the surgery... a week since i've stopped using painkillers. but most importantly it's the first day my kids are both in daycare. i'm heartbroken. probably more in shock then they are. especially after having spent days and nights at home with them now for a whole month. i miss them, and it hasn't even been four hours. funny how spending day in and day out with them can be both stressful and busy and hectic, but as soon as they're gone the house feels so empty. shortly after i had arrived home after droppping stella off my friend christina phoned. i cannot tell you how good it is to have friends, who are there when you need them. i really needed to hear from another mom that everything was going to be ok. it's hard to let go... sometimes.

Dear Family & Friends-

I write on Beta's behalf. She asked that I write a posting to let you know that she has had an accident, is in the hospital, and, thankfully, is already on the mend.

I have started a separate blog where you can find out more and follow along with her recovery.
http://www.getbetterbeta.blogspot.com/

You are also welcome to join our Facebook group- Get Better Beta!!!- to show some extra support. We are already over 100+ strong!

Don't worry... Beta will make a full recovery. She remains positive as always. Please do be patient with regard to this blog as it will take her some time to get back to it.

All the best-
Christina

what to do... what to do

I just got in from work and my kids are not here. The house is empty and eerily quiet for 4 o'clock in the afternoon. It's odd. For a brief moment I found myself at a loss of what to do... Yup. That's what happens when you're used to having four arms flailing and four legs dashing towards you every time you come through the front door. The reason I decided to write a little note here, I must admit, was the inspiration of a book I've been listening to on my i-pod as I take the subway ride home from work called "Still Life with Children". It's funny and very "my life" right now. I find that coming home from work and reading most books (I'm speaking of fiction, here) on the ride often puts me in a dreamy head space, and switching from that to the intensity of having to cook dinner, hold Stella, answer all of Kaspar's questions, check phone messages and emails and get the kids bath ready and so on... it can be a little like shock therapy. However - this book puts me right in the head space for home and with a good dose of humor at that. If you have little kids - you should read it. If you're a grandparent you should read it to remind yourself of what it used to be like. If you're about to have kids - definitely read it. If you never plan to have kids - read it to laugh with and at all the friends who do have kids. I plan to buy myself a copy just to keep for the days when I want to cry out of frustration. At the very least, it should put a smile on your face!

My kids are at the airport seeing Steve off to another European tour and it seems to be taking longer then I had anticipated. Or maybe I rushed home from work a little too soon? It's been a crazy month with one flu following another and all four of us, in tandem, feeling bad and very bad and even worse from one day to the next, but I think as of yesterday I can say that we're all back on our feet.

In the mean time we have managed to accomplish a few milestones personally and work wise and around the house. To list just a few - the kids seemed to have had a growth spurt, Stella has learned to feed herself, Kaspar has learned to write most of the letters of the alphabet, Steve and I have learned to switch operating systems from PC to MAC like a pair of pro's, I have closed books for 2008 at work (this is a big one for me!), Elliott Brood has been nominated for two Juno's and we have bought a new washing machine (it's still pending delivery, but I have a feeling I will be just as happy as I am with our new (used) i-mac). Life is good! Except for the part where Steve leaves for tour. But should be good by the end of the week, when my mom arrives to take on Stella and Kaspar during the days. Phew! But now, I better make some dinner and get ready to receive my pair of plane watchers home!

the dreaded flu

Oh yeah. We got the dreadful stomach flu! Was it, as Kaspar would like to clarify, because of him eating snow with pollsion (he means pollution, of course) in the snow? Probably not. But he was sure the first to go down. It started as quite a surprise. He came in to our room in the middle of the night and said "I threw up." Just like that. And because he's the dreamer and has the wildest of imaginations, especially at night, I have to admit that I thought to myself "Yeah right!" However, going back to his room, I discovered that he really had chucked his cookies, as they like to say. That was the turning point of our week, last week.

That first night I hardly slept and by the morning totally lost count of how many times he threw up. It was many. A lot more then 12. I know I stopped counting at 12. As the clock struck seven, I got up to a pile, the size of our back yard snow bank, of clothes and bed sheets and pillows to be washed and yet ... I had to make it to work by 10am and actually be able to function and calculate year end totals and reconcile accounts. In times like this being a parent forces you to do the seemingly impossible. By the end of the day exhausted and weary, both Steve and I sat down to dinner, with Kaspar in bed in the next room and hoped that the 24 h had passed and the vomiting should have passed by now. But to our surprise it started full force all over again. We packed both kids in the car and went down to St. Joseph's hospital to their kids walk in clinic. It was about 8pm and upon my arrival the nurse literally rolled her eyes and said "It's about a two and a half hour wait..." and waited for my answer. Well. I'm no fool. I'm not going to put a three year old through a two hour wait at 8pm with a large metal bowl in his lap, just waiting for the next time his stomach will give the signal. Fortunately enough I know something that very few know in our fine city. There is an after hours clinic at St. Joseph's hospital that is hardly used. The few times I've been there I've only had to wait for 10 or 20 minutes before I get to see a doctor. We walked through the hospital and down a flight of stairs and found ourselves in the hands of a very nice young female doctor in no time at all. (I admit, I was tempted to go upstairs and tell all the other parents - follow me! I don't know why the kids clinic does not give parents at least the option of going down the stairs ... but it's probably some sort of inside politics.) Anyhow, after a few shots of electrolytes from a strange looking blue plastic bottle Kaspar began to feel better and stopped throwing up. We were supposed to have a whole lot more of the "electric lights" over the course of the night, but Kaspar pretty much refuses to drink the stuff. It has taken him two days to recover since the night at the hospital, but he is sure on his way to feeling much better and had begun to eat.

Of course, as Murphy would have it, Stella and Steve got sick the night that Kaspar began feeling better. These two are going through the same thing that Kaspar went through only add diarrhea to the pot. Absolutely unbelievable! I continue to work and do laundry and eat on my own, because it seems like I'm the only person eating in this household for now. I'm hoping this won't last much longer. And I'm so glad it's the week-end... Happy Saturday all around!

out with the old and in with the new ?

Oh boy! December came and went. I don't know where it went. I've been trying to catch a breath and I still cannot figure out how time can fly so fast. I have an inbox full of mail. I have a pile of laundry waiting to be done (well, if I were to be honest that's been the case for months now). I have a list of orders that are late, as usual. I've got phone messages that have not been answered and mail unopened ... perhaps the only thing that's up to date are bills and that's only because I know that not taking care of those in time can cause more grief then I can handle at given moment. But today I'm taking time to do some stuff. Finally.



Stella is coming into her own these days. She has figured out not only how to push Kaspar back, when he does not let her play, but also how to frown when she does not want something; how to fall on the ground in hysteria, when someone takes her toy away; how to open doors of all sorts; how to open the lid of the toilet and go fishing; how to make an angry face, when she does not want to pose for a picture (as you can see in the attached image); how to pull her shoes off and then have a fit about not being able to put them back on herself; how to crush grapes on her mother's head; how to bite, when she's not getting my attention; how to pick her nose with both hands; how to sound convincing even if she cannot manage to say a whole word; how to pull her mittens off no matter what the weather is like; how to kiss (drooling and with her mouth open!); eat snow and paper amongst a slew of other more edible items; drink from a glass; hold a spoon; pick all the seeds out of a watermelon slice (by the end of it the slice is mush, of course); point at things she wants; Alright, that's it. I'm getting bored with this list. It's good enough for now. I'm learning from my kids to have the attention span of a three year old or younger.