wake up call

what do you do between 5am and 6am? most people sleep, i presume. most normal people... most of those without insomnia, at least... not i! this is kaspar and me (of course behind the camera) at 5:30 this morning. yeah. his favourite time to play is about 6am or so. some mornings a little earlier, some a little later. and i'm no game at that hour. i try really hard, i do, but very often rabbits get called ducks and elephants go galloping not horses and chickens say quack, quack... how can anyone keep up with a kid at that hour of the morning, or, night i should say? the big elephant pillow is my favourite toy. at least i can lay my head on it during those early morning play dates :-)

elliott brood got the rising start award at the indie music awards. unexpected victories! they play tonight. in a couple of hours. i'll try to make it out, i think. last chance to see them in toronto for a while. they have most of the next four months booked on the road, less three and a half weeks. the price of fame!

it was a gorgeous, sunny, warm day. we spent most of the day out, even though kaspar had barely slept last night. he was in an awesome mood, though. i love going out with him - he loves company and is always better outside the house, then he is at home. (i get the feeling he gets bored at home!) both of this top front teeth have fully broken through the gum (that's teeth no.3 and no 4), little white jagged lines. he probably will start feeling better now... knock, knock, knock!

lethargic

that's a word, isn't it? lethargic. yeah. it's a word. and that word describes me. (sometimes i have to be careful with some words. last week was a good example - i was trying to say octogenarian, but i said octovarian. and i had no ovaries in mind, believe me!) but tonight i feel so very lethargic, that it took me 45 minutes to simply sit down and write the first word for this entry. oh. boy.

it was one of those crazy days, when you wake up feeling like you have so much to do, that you just jump out of bed and get to it. i did. shortly after 7am. i had to get the extra 45 of sleep, because i was pretty much up from 3am until 6am trying to keep kaspar out of the four corners of the crib. he was thrashing and turning and fussing forever. he'd corner himself pretty much every 15 minutes and wake me up complaining about it. i'd put him back in the middle of the crib and within about 15 minutes it would be the same thing all over again. steve, of course, slept soundly through the whole ordeal. lucky bugger! so, at 6am it was daddy's turn. they came downstairs to hang out and watch cartoons while i did a 45 min snooze sandwiched between two pillows. but by 7:30 i had a coffee in one hand and a mouse in the other and i was workin' away. the TOAE applications (that's toronto outdoor art exhibition) were due today. it's been two years since i've been in it and i would very much like to get in this year. so, i've been working, working, working. this morning i still had to go through about 150 pictures, write artist's statement, resume, biography, fill out forms, burn cd and get the whole thing ready by 2pm. it was rough. especially after i realized that half of my carefully shot pictures were blurry and it was -10 outside, and my only diffused light source was the great outdoors. but, i did it. i did finish the applications and sent them off to 401 richmond with steve. he was on his way to independent music awards night (it's not the juno's, not yet) i don't really know what these indie awards are all about. i've never heard of them. but i suppose that elliott brood didn't make them up. they're nominated. i'm sure i'll hear all about it tonight, when steve gets home. last night they got home from barcelona. spain was superb, i hear!

well. all that hear-say.... but i'm lazy tonight. after getting all the work done in the morning, i spent the rest of the day hanging out with kaspar. he was a bit on the cranky side. a bit feverish. a little 'not himself. who knows what was up his sleeve...

action

i'm trying to capture some action, here. it's not an easy task. kaspar has turned into the energizer bunny. once he's in this jolly jumper, there is no stopping the kid. i never thought this was possible. a few days ago he discovered that the jolly jumper is not only intended for lounging around in... i feel very sorry for our basement neighbour. i keep trying to put carpet and foam under the kids feet, but the thumping can be felt throughout the house. i don't understand how his little head can take so much jumping. at times i try to curb the activity and divert his attention to some other seemingly fun activity, but most of the time it fails. as soon as i try to take him out of the seat, he squirms and screams and it doesn't take long before he's won the fight. (frighteningly enough, him winning the fight happens way too often, these days!)

we've just had an absolutely crazy week-end. on saturday we had dim sum and two parties to attend. kaspar participated in only one of the events, but was so burned out by the end of the day that he fell asleep at 5pm and did not wake until 10pm. however, at 10pm, he wasn't sure what to do with himself. my mom was good enough to entertain him for two hours in the dark (just the nightlight on) until he got tired enough to go back to sleep. i was the lucky one. i got to go to my friend elviga's 40th all by myself. it's awesome to have a night out now and then! and it's even more awesome to have a grandmother baby-sit. i don't think i would trust anyone to baby-sit at this age.

kaspar has now proven countless times (including this week-end)that he will not go down for a nap, when there is entertainment to be had. he's going to be a social butterfly, if this continues. looking on the bright side of things - at least he's a very good sport about it. he spent the day at the party, missing first his noon nap due to the car trip, then his 4pm nap because there were too many women paying attention to him at the party, and during all this time he did not get cranky or upset or distressed. he was on his best behavior. by the very end, he did fall asleep in my lap, holding my finger, quietly zoned out. because of all the messed up saturday schedule, sunday was even more odd. he slept for three hours in the morning, then for an hour in the early afternoon and finally fell asleep at 5:30pm and did not fully wake up (except for eating) until 6:30am this morning. go figure!

i've got two deadlines on march 1st, which is the day after tomorrow. i only figured that out today. i kept thinking - it's only the 26th - four more days until the end of the month. so, instead of working, i lounged around with kaspar all day yesterday and borrowed two movies from my favourite neighbour and watched both of them last night while waiting for kaspar to wake up (which, of course, he never did!). today, i've had this panicky feeling in the pit of my stomach... got a lot done. i'm still hoping to make both of the show deadlines but the end of the day on wednesday. knock, knock, knock...

it's weird. march first. and i feel like the winter has just hit us. it was snowing today. a bit of snow, now and then, most of the day. snow and rain always throws me off, a little. makes me a bit sleepy and lazy. kaspar was just the same, today. slept a lot. march should ring in spring. it should, it should, it should... i wait impatiently for spring. for sweater weather. for crocuses and tulips in the yard. for that pale tint of green in the trees. but for now, it's snow, and i have to get back to work in the studio. a few more hours before i can call it a night!

ice cream and raspberries

yummmm, he had his first taste of ice cream (just a tiny bit on the end of a spoon) and a raspberry. you should have seen his face. priceless. the ice cream was one of those situations, where, as soon as the spoon left his mouth he jumped for it and grabbed on to it and refused to let go. as if the spoon itself seeped the sugary goodness. it kept him occupied for at least ten minutes. and then he finally figured it out, i think. the ice cream experience was followed closely by a raspberry. and that was an entirely different ball game. there was a yelp, a shrug and then, just as the final sour and juicy taste reached the back of his throat, he sort of trembled with his entire body and his face contorted in a weird grin... but he kept sucking on it (making these funny faces all the time) and finally swallowed it. as soon as his mouth was empty, he reached for the next one. we gave him two. two raspberries. it's awesome watching a child experience all these new tastes! at some point, a very long time ago, we all did the same thing... i can sort of remember it. i can sort of remember my first experience with gooseberries. and i can clearly remember my first taste of a banana. but that's a whole other story.

i'm baking two cakes, as we speak. we have two parties to attend tomorrow, a 60th and a 40th birthdays. and i'm baking a cake for each. it's a chocolate & rum & raspberry cake and i got the recipe (who am i kidding - i actually spent a day learning how to make it!) from a lady, who was marvelous at everything she touched. she was this absolutely amazing eighty year old (i believe she was 80 when i met her). she cooked, baked, sewed, knitted, kept herself in shape, kept her house freshly painted, helped families, children and women everywhere, did charity work for countless hours of the week, hung out with her grandchildren and if i was a family member, i could probably list a few dozen other things she accomplished. but most of all, she had this youthful way about her... she could relate to me, she did not judge, she was just a spectacular human being. and amidst all that, she still had time to spend a whole afternoon teaching me how to make a cake (i can cook, but i'm miserable at anything baked!). and she was only someone, who attended the same church i did. go figure! today i'm baking her cake and feeling like i owe her one. unfortunately, she passed away a couple of years ago, before i had a chance to tell her how much i admired her. but every time i bake this cake, i feel like i need to do something to keep her memory alive. in fact, i miss her! here is a toast to people like her. i hope that if i ever manage to reach 80+, i can do it as graciously and wonderfully as her!

all things green

i hear that people get addicted to blogging. i can see it, yeah. it's nice getting all these immediate responses from people. but i would only get addicted to reading other's blogs. i'm too lazy to be addicted to blogging myself. hi. hi. hi. a friend recently pointed out that the blog etiquette means, that you are supposed to respond to other people's comments on your blog. forgive me, but i was not aware of this until now. i will try to do just that from now on. notice, i'm stressing the word 'try'.

kaspar’s had a mellow day. even though, like most times, after i've written something positive about his sleeping habits, they were not so good last night. he was up very often. i don't count any more, or else i just get depressed about it. but, i wouldn't be me, if i didn't look for reasons. i figure this time i can blame broccoli. you have to blame something, you know. it just makes me feel better. and i'm sick of blaming teething. even if he still is teething. yeah, getting showered by my drooling child's saliva is something i've gotten used to. but... back to broccoli... this kid of ours is strange. he seems to really take to all things green. is it not the norm for kids to hate green vegetables? with him the love affair began early on with avocado. then about a week ago i discovered green peas. peas and rice, peas and rice… I always get the rheostatics song stuck in my head :-) (p.s. did you hear about the rheostatics? they're breaking up. local rumour mill...) and yesterday he had broccoli for the first time. loved it. but, maybe he did not sleep so well because of it. i don't do so well after broccoli. perhaps neither does he. or perhaps it's just something i can put the blame on. perhaps. it's 10:30 pm. i just spent the last two hours trying to put him to bed, but he's totally awake. at least he's totally happy. i hate the nights, when he cries. but, i've given up trying for now. he's just chilling in his bed and chatting away while i'm trying to finish this entry. i wonder when my little jumping bean will run out of steam...

oh, i feel the pressure... i feel it, i do!

oh, the pressure! yes, i know, i know... it's been a week. i'm sorry! i'm absolutely honoured to be so wanted by you :-) we have had quite a week since steve got home from tour. not only he's been hogging the computer, but i've also been working on pieces for a show that's coming up in march. then on the week-end we drove up north with some friends. monday and tuesday nights were spent with family, friends and neighbours. busy, busy lives, you see!

steve got home last week, the day after we found out about the juno nomination. he was thrilled. the whole band was on the ninth cloud, in fact! the tour had been incredible. they had played sold out venues, sold a whole lot of cd's and got a good stack of press. this week they're doing some cbc interviews and on friday they head out to barcelona. what a high! i'm feeling it, too, even if it isn't all that direct.... i get asked now and then, if i will go to the junos. the answer, unfortunately is - no. first of all, even if i was invited, kaspar wouldn't be. and the other thing - they are charging partners of juno nominees full ticket price for the event, which ends up being $450. i think that is absolutely outrageous! i have a million of things i'd much rather spend that kind of cash on... steve will have to party for both of us.

kaspar has been an absolute darling for the last week. he's been sleeping well. he's been eating everything from green peas to broccoli, mangos, strawberries and best of all - loving yogurt. he can eat an adult sized yogurt cup in one sitting and still ask for more. and he's starting to really get into playing. he'll happily sit on the floor with some toys and play. he's also learning how to crawl. the beginning stages of crawling have been more like shuffling backwards with chest flat on the floor, legs doing all the work. however, last week-end emils (he's almost four years old) was good enough to demonstrate the proper crawling position to kaspar. he picked up on it fast. now he's using arms and legs and the backwards crawl is going very well. i wonder how long it will take before he figures out how to move forward. i try to entice him with toys and things, but he only gets more and more frustrated as he's moving further and further away from the 'wanted' item. he just does not get it... poor kid! in this picture he's trying to chase emil's foot! if you look carefully you'll notice the white sock in the corner of the shot :-) yes, emils got away, because kaspar backed into the couch.

we spent the last week-end on healey lake. it was an annual event of a sorts for a few years but last year we all got too busy and skipped the wintry fun. it was nice to go again! our friends christina and erik own a cottage on healey lake, however, it's not winterized... so, we rent a cabin on the other end of the lake, right near the local 'lodge'. the lake is only a couple of hours north of toronto, but it's unbelievable how different the weather can be. we left toronto, early on saturday morning, snow-less, dry, cold and rather dark. only an hour north of the city the snow banks began growing and by the time we arrived in mctier (the town near healey lake) the snow banks on the sides of the road were at least a meter high. it also began to snow as soon as we left the city limits and it did not stop snowing for the two days while we were there. on sunday morning we measured almost a foot of the fresh white stuff on the driveway and began wondering if the snow plows will reach us before the evening. unfortunately they did... we were sad to leave the winter wonderland. however, some of us had to return back to work! here is an awesome snow shot of us out on he road. it's hard to believe that this was the main road leading to the lodge!!! toronto, on the other hand was just the same as we had left it. no sign of the mountains of snow we had in the north.

i've spent the better part of this week working on my new line of work, taking pictures, writing artist statements and organizing applications. it's that time of the year, when a lot of the show applications are due. a bit of stress. a bit of pressure. there is nothing like it to get me motivated and get stuff done. i know i've been promising pictures of work, so here are a couple. some are still pieces in progress. there are still many kinks to work out... but, i'm loving the studio time. it would be very hard to handle being home with kaspar, if i did not have my studio. i consider myself very lucky!

well on that happy note, i think i might end this photo issue. i'm thinking of watching either some figure skating or american idol. cbc was advertising tonight's shows - they said that tonight is the night to catch some sappy music, melodrama and skimpy outfits. apparently both of the shows offer that! :-) i'm not sure what to pick. sappy music, melodrama and skimpy outfits are not rally my cup of tea, but we only get two chanels and both seem to be showing just that. and i'm too lazy to walk the four blocks to rent a movie... lazy, yup!

oh my god!

elliott brood has been nominated for a juno. i'm speechless. i'm going to need some time to recover. steve got back from his tour this morning at 4am. and kaspar got up at 6am. and i'm speechless.... and tired... and cold... and.... just speechless, really.

un tiem, kas varbut neesat tik zinosi par kanadas muzikas notikumiem, es paskaidrosu tapat, ka es skaidroju savai mammai... jus zinat, kas ir 'oskari', ja? vai zinat kas ir 'grammy awards'? tas ir tadas pasas balvas, ka 'oskari' filmam, tikai muzikai. un 'juno awards' ir tas pats, kas 'grammy awards' amerika, bet tikai kanadas versija. :-) ja, un steve grupa ir nomineta rock/folk muzikas kategorija. turesim ikskus!

explaining the socks and what not

ha, ha, ha.... i just took a peak at my last blog and realized that my title has nothing to do with the blog. baby brain! hi, hi, hi!

let me explain about the socks... i am a big fan of stripes and colours, when it comes to socks. (and no, this is not a picture of my striped socks, even though i wish, oh, i do wish they were!) so, very often i walk around the house sporting my multi coloured toes. but kaspar thinks that this must be some game i play especially for him. sometimes he'll be sitting on the carpet, playing on his own and i'll just walk into the room or walk by him, when he, with a yelp will fling himself at my feet and then giggle or scream with joy. at first i couldn't figure it out. i thought perhaps he was falling over. but then the laughter gave it away. it's a game of a sorts for him. sometimes, when he's in the mood, he'll dive for my brown slippers, too. maybe he's just pretending to be a cat. however, i don't even know, if he's ever met a live cat (no, he has not seen a dead one either, but many green yellow and blue cats in the form of stuffed animals and flat ones in picture books!)... has he, hmm?

here is the big news of the day - he's growing hair! i've been dying to write about this for a few days now, but every time i try taking a picture of his hair, it only looked like 'lack there of'. but this morning i managed to snap one. and don't you dare tell me that there is no hair. this is quite a lot of hair for kaspar! you can see the swirl on the back of his head! i'm so used to having him without hair. what will he look like with hair? time is on my side i guess. his hair is taking it's sweet time and giving me a chance to get slowly used to it.

and here is a picture of a new favourite. this is a borrowed toy from his friends markus & emil (who, at the moment have outgrown/not old enough for it!) we have inherited it for the time being. kaspar loves it. it's like a little table with buttons and keys and things. it plays music and funny sounds and even though he's not strong enough to stand next to it to play, we have figured out that the toy is just as good on it's side or even with legs removed right on the floor. i'm sure i will soon be cursing the factory in thailand or china that made this thing (that sort of music can quickly start to drive one crazy...) but for now, it's a great new toy. in the mornings it gives me a chance to make coffee and sometimes even check email.

well. he's up. the nap lasted only an hour. i got a hair cut and did my blog - all in the matter of one hour. not so bad. not bad at all!

socks and what not

it has been six days now, since kaspar began sitting. i mean sitting completely on his own. no pillows. no hands. no propping up. before that, he used to sit up for about a minute or so, and then he would just fall over. almost like some invisible hand had come and pushed him over. he'd fall, either on his side or right back. a few times, when i was not quick enough to catch him or put a pillow behind him, his head would hit the carpet with a thud. a frightening sound, really. he wouldn't get upset, though, i assume it sounded worse then it was. i had never thought about it that way, but babies have to learn absolutely everything, even how to fall. no wonder we do not remember those first years of our lives. if we did, we might be damaged for life. imagine the frustration? learning how to eat, how to walk, talk, fall, crawl, grip and the list goes on and on... and at the same time growing an inch a month or so. and not being able to communicate with the rest of the world. it has to be hard being a baby!

moving mountains

i feel like i've moved mountains today! truly! getting through the red tape of canadian government agencies is like moving mountains. let me indulge you for a moment....
did you know that officially it takes three months for a child to get his or her birth certificate? yes. that is what they tell you, when you call the agency. and the application form consists of four pages, where the questions are so confusing (things like - the applicant is not the child, but one of the parents!), that i have managed to make mistakes on both copies of the official forms i had ordered. however, when i called the office to ask where i could pick up another application form, they conveniently forgot to tell me that there is a web site, where you can fill out a simplified version of the form, pay and order the stupid certificate all from the convenience of your own computer chair! that was about five days ago.

i do have to stroke my own ego, here, a little. i was wise. i did not give up that easy. i figured... most government forms are downloadable. let's do a search. and sure enough, i found the site, filled out the form, ordered the certificate and exactly four days later i got a notice in the mail box to come and pick it up. four days! what the #@$%??? how is that possible? how can it take three months on paper and be done in four days on the web? i just don't get it. and it seems like the web thing is the best kept secret, because none of the other mothers i have talked to knew anything about this site and they all have ordered their kid's birth certificates. infuriating!

but...i did not get off that easy. when i went to pick it up, it turned out i had to show them the original bith registry form. we never got that. at least, not that i can remeber. (i hope steve is not going to tell me otherwise!) this meant having to go to the city hall to get an official copy. then back to etobicoke for the birth certificate. finally, after standing in line-ups three times & spending 90$, a whole three hours later i had the little piece of paper in my hand. score! i headed straight for the dufferin mall, where the closest government office issuing SIN numbers is located and stood in another line up and got that done, too. so that's my story. it was exhausting. but now my child has all the paperwork necessary to be a functioning, official citizen of this country. or i've just been through all the red tape i can handle for a while.