oh dear, i've missed a day

oh dear. how will i recover from this? i've missed a day of posting. i told you it would eventually lead to this. one day missed. then one more. then a week gone by. and before i know it, i will forget about the blog. nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

it must have been all that fresh air yesterday and the three hour long walk we had in the morning. i actually fell asleep last night while putting kaspar to bed ( i think i might have fallen asleep before he did, because i don't remember him sleeping...) and did not wake up until 1 am, when he was ready to eat. good thing, too, because after that we were awake pretty much every hour until 6 am. having a child is really an amazing experience, absolutely, except for the waking every hour part! ... during these types of mornings, believe me, there is nothing more blissful then having your mom walk into the room and say - "i'll hang out with him. go. sleep for a couple of hours." oh, what a blessing!!!

i'm posting a picture ( i really like this one!) i took yesterday at the jazz cafe, where we spent some time warming up and taking a break during our 3 hour long walk. jazz cafe has this amazing coffee. i love it. i swear, their plain cup of coffee tastes better then a cappuccino! and i really like cappuccino. especially the plain sorts. like the ones around the corner from my friend's place in montreal. mmm. cappuccino! have one on me, today!

i wish that this blog would allow me to post movies. today i took this amazing little film of kaspar (with my digital camera) , holding on to a mirror and talking to himself, kissing, licking and pointing at himself in the mirror. it was like he had just discovered the mirror (or himself), even though it had been there pretty much since his birth. very funny! wish you could have seen it. in fact he's been pulling a whole lot of tricks out of the bag lately. a few days ago he surprised me by grabbing on to my hands and pulling himself up on his feet. i almost dropped him off the sofa! i knew he could pull himself up to a seated position, but not on his feet. tonight, while we were having dinner with some friends, lari made him laugh out loud and giggle for a good 15 minutes. he was just deliriously happy! i had never seen him giggle and laugh for such a long time! he totally hit it off with laris. well, i'm sure i could think of a few dozen other things to write about, but just in case my fate is being awake every hour, once again, i better get to bed soon. tomorrow is sunday. another week gone by. another week closer to christmas. another week added to kaspar's life. he'll be 20 weeks old tomorrow. 20 weeks ago i gave birth to this little chap. wow. it seems so long ago. he's changed so much in these few weeks of his life. i promise to post some good pics of him tomorrow.

we've been saved

yes. she arrived. my mom is here, safe and sound. she arrived on time, on the 4pm flight from prague. we had some good take out tai for dinner. yummy. you see, living alone (or with a kid, who does not appreciate real food) my fridge has slowly become the place for condiments, not real food. it does not help, that bloor street in all it's glory is just around the corner! tonight, as i was waiting for my mom at terminal three, i realized that the only food items in the fridge (not counting kaspar's containers of brightly coloured mush) are 2 potatoes, a head of garlic, a bag of milk, a spoonful of sour cream and a whole load of vinegars, ketchups, sauces and other condiments. fried potatoes with garlic is just too latvian. i couldn't do it to her on her first night back!

oh. jau nak pie vienpadsmitiem. man mute platas bez nejegas (tikai zavas!) kaspars, bet ari mana mamma aizmiga jau isi pec deviniem. un es, ka jau parasti, trinos te pie kompisa. vienmer atrodas kaut kas darams, kaut kas lasams, kaut kas petams, kaut kas nevajadzigs, bet interesants.... sasoditais tikls! laika nosisana!

so vakaru pavadijam kavejoties riga, talsos, kuldiga.... parrunajot berzlapu ielas sagas un jaunumus, ka ari jau pagajusos notikumus. izstridejamies par to cik kaspars izaudzis, cik nav audzis, cik pienemies svara, cik izstiepies par sim dazam nedelam kops omcits bijis riga. man jau meginaja iestastit, ka esot loti izmainijies, bet ka gan tas var but? es tacu visu laiku esmu bijusi seit, klat - tas pats puika vien ir!

sodien ar visu lielo posanos uz omcisa ierasanos mes aizmirsam uztaisit bildites. kaspars man visu dienu palidzeja mazgat gridas un puteklus slaucit (vins man maisa, kamer es surijos pa maju - rit nofocesim tos jokus!) tadel sodien mums bilde sanakusi tada savada, melnbalta, uznemta ar manu fotoaparatu, kam iespejams uzstadit 'nakts kadrejumu' kas iznak melnbalta, bet ar tadu savadu gaismu. to nupat uzknipseju. kaspars aizmidzis, zem segas, cuc! es ari teiksu jums visiem arlabunakti! lidz ritam....

wednesday. a good friend once pointed out that wednesday is 'hump day'. it's the middle of the week, but at the end of the day, you're one day closer to the week-end. i suppose it only applies to those of us, who are working 5 days a week, but none the less... i think about it, almost every wednesday. so, if you're stuck at a day job - celebrate hump day!

today we managed to miss kaspar's late afternoon nap. who knows what planet we both were on? but, by the time i figured out that he was cranky for a good reason, it was too late. i figured he'll probably go to bed early... just after 7pm he got a great 20 minute baby massage and was ready to nurse. usually sleep follows, within 20 minutes or so. however, at 9:30 i found myself in an awkward position - a stiff neck and a baby, who would not let go. he was on a marathon! after 2h and 10 minutes he reluctantly resigned. phew! maybe he'll sleep thought the night....

tomorrow is december. december 1st. wow! where did november go? who hijacked november? that means christmas is in 24 days. i cannot believe it... tomorrow we get rescued. yes! my mom arrives tomorrow. bless her soul for coming!!! kaspar and i have been on our own for a week and a half, and even though we seem to be doing better and better as time goes by, i cannot hide the smile on my face knowing that i might be able to get some uninterrupted sleep for more then 2.5 hours at a time. bliss!

shoddy time, eh?

shoddy time, huh? my favorite past times these days truly are "a lot of making faces and blowing on small tummies to make a noise". i sure hope this does not qualify me for the shoddy time Olympics. and dressing up of pets is of no interest to me!(if you have no clue of what i'm referring to, please read comments on yesterday's blog!)

ugh. time flies. kaspar is out for the night (next three hours) , or so i hope. i'm about to hit the pillow, as well. we've had a busy day. after a hot bath, we both seem to be feeling a little light headed. i'm off to the bedroom with a harper’s in one hand and the new issue of weavings in the other. let's see which wins my attention!

a day in pajamas

i feel the pangs of guilt, tonight. i hate to admit it, but i've got to come clean. i will sleep better, if i do. here it is - i didn't take him outside all day! yes. it's absolutely, totally, completely awful. mean of me. selfish, in fact. that amazing and wonderful kid of mine was indoors all day. and it was +13 degrees out. he wouldn't even have needed his snowsuit. or the ever so disliked mittens. how could i? how dare i? i used the rain as an excuse. i used his need for sleep as an excuse. but they were only excuses for a much more selfish activity - working in the studio. i'm so sorry kaspar. i promise to take you out for two walks tomorrow (or one extra long walk) !

while i played bad mom (re: outdoor activities), we still ended up having a wicked day! after some wakeful hours last night, we both slept in until 9:30. kaspar woke me up giggling and we spent another hour in bed doing absolutely nothing. oddly enough, doing nothing with a baby, is really just that - doing nothing! have you ever thought about it? it's almost impossible to do 'nothing' with another adult. the rest of our day was spent productively working in our pajamas. since we never left the house, i simply failed to see any reason to get dressed. i truly enjoyed it! we got to try out kaspar's new toy - the authentic, vintage bouncy chair. he loved playing in that thing. thanks lidia! it seems that our kid knows a vintage, when he sees one! his two favorite toys to date are the bouncy chair and the wobbly chicken, also an authentic 1970's piece. so, while he contently played in his chair, i managed to get some work done in the studio. wow!

it's coming to 11pm. he's sleeping soundly. i must catch another hour at the bench, while i can. these sorts of days don't come by the dozen. i say a prayer of thanks and count my blessings!

tired

uh. hot coco. new daniel lanois cd. waiting for the phone to ring. ten pm. i'm tired. kaspar is sleeping. the dryer just stopped. i will retreat to the bedroom with a large pile of fresh smelling laundry in a basket. goodnight!

let it snow, let it snow, let it snow...

what a spectacular day! it snowed and snowed and snowed well into the afternoon. the city is white. but polightly white. not at all overrun with snow. however, they say that monday we are to have +15 celcius. let's not think about that. all this snow has got me in christmas spirit. and kaspars and i have just had a spectacular day. i think our relationship is beginning to develop and we have both learned, finally, how to give each other some space. he's been so fun, today! just look at this picture. we took it at 8am while playing on his favourite matt. later we went for dim sum with our regular dim-summers tania and paul. what good little bites of unidentifiable food, yummy! the subway was a bit of a bore until kaspar discovered the bright adds near the ceiling. what a blessing. (and i don't usually feel that way about advertising.) then we had dinner plans with crystal and andi and lidia. more spectacular food! and by 7 pm kaspar looked a bit like a drunk baby - so very tired. he's been asleep since we got home. (knock, knock, knock... he better stay that way for the next three hours.) bless this fine little boy of mine!

today an important milestone has been reached, a one week blog-a-versary. i'd toast myself with a glass of champaigne, but i have not got a bottle handy. i hope someone out there does it on my behalf. i'm thrilled that this blog project has not failed!

and now, please forgive me, if some of you cannot read the rest... but sometimes i just have to write in latvian.

vienas nedelas pierakstitas domu kripatas. sniegs. tuvojas decembris. ziemsvetki. lai cik ilgi es ari nebutu nodzivojusi sini pasaules mala, sis laiks mani vedina uz domam par majam. bet, vai es vispar varu vairs tas saukt par majam? varbut vienkarsi sentimentalitate. latvija. riga. majas, kuras es uzaugu. bet sava zina tas vel arvien ir manas majas. tapat ka toronto drosi vien bus vienmer manas majas. si sadalita pasaule.

sorit kaspars mani pamodinaja isi pec sesiem. es atveru acis, bet vel arvien savas atminas kavejos sapni, ko pat pilniba neatceros. es sedeju uz jumta, savas majas, riga ... un debesis bija baltas, tik baltas, sniega un saules pielietas. ari seit snieg. peleciga, sniegaina, samtaina diena. pagajusi nedela kops esam divata majas ar kasparu. miers mijas ar nogurumu, nogurums ar garlaicibu, garlaiciba ar nepadaritiem darbiem un darbiniem. rit svetdiena. pauze mana nedelas skrejiena. vismaz pedeja laika, manas mammas iespaidota ari es censos svetdienas nedomat par darbu. ja nesanak nestradat, tad vismaz censos nedomat. ha!

a complaint or two

the tag in this picture might just seem like a tag and nothing more, but, we were so excited when we found the sweater at the local second hand shop. if you still have not noticed - on the bottom, in the small (and a bit blurry) lettering you can read "made in latvia". how cool is that? what are the chances that a couple of latvian girls will find the one sweater in the junk shop that's made in latvia. but here's the beef. the tag reads 100% wool. and 100% wool should felt. however this sweater did not do even the mildest bit of felting, no matter how many times it got dunked in hot and cold and hot and cold and hot water again and again and again. how can it be? have the latvians deceived us? or should the blame lie with LLBean? oh, i was so very disappointed! i cut out the tag to remind myself of this sad event and threw the sweater away.

i was going to write more and upload a daily picture of kaspar, but something is not working. maybe i'm allowed to post only one picture a day. perhaps. i never read the fine print, when i signed up for this blog. or maybe it's our computer. by now, i'm convinced that our computer is possessed. ever since i can remember this computer has had problems. we can never stay connected. modems don't work. routers don't work. it keeps disconnecting. we're on a first name basis with the support staff at ica (our dsl provider). it's really quite frustrating. i must remember to look up exorcists in the yellow pages. maybe someone specializes in electronics. or computers. it's our last resort!

food... did someone say food?

just look at this kid! green and slimy - yum! he loves it. it's not as bad as it looks. mushy avocado still tastes like avocado. kaspars loves food. loves spoons. loves eating! it's enough to waive a spoon in his direction, when the mouth opens, arms and legs flailing he's ready to jump out of his chair in joy! even though the canadian pediatricians association tells me that babies should be strictly breastfed until 6 months, i've decided to rebel. i was glad to find out that my doctor approves. it seems that our child is as tall as an average 7 month old and weighs just a hair under 16 pounds. so - food gets the green light. it all happened so quickly, wow!

the day is dragging at a snails pace. it's only 4pm. i'm ready to call it a day. i wonder how kaspar does it? babies must have some strange hormone or gene or some energy reserve that enables them to be awake at all hours of day and night, regardless of the amount of sleep they are getting. he's not an anomaly, i've been told. i wish i was a baby!

hm. it keeps snowing. it's beautiful. especially from a second floor window of a nice, warm home. i wonder how we will accomplish the task of shoveling the sidewalk and stairs. hm. something to think about. and the park will be out of the question, tomorrow, i suspect. oh well, c'est la vie. (i told you i might write in french one day!)

mornings and noise

noise in the mornings should be banned by law. this morning kaspars woke up bright and early. 5am. we chilled out in the studio for a bit and had some oranges and tea. more precisely, he had the orange and i - the tea. but at 7am, when we were both more then ready for a morning nap the street filled with orange and yellow trucks and traktors. they started hammering and digging and making quite a racket. sleep was a write off. we went for a walk in high park with our favourite neghbour. gorgeous fall day! tomorrow it will snow. so said the weatherman. i look forward to it. these past few days our street has been slowly transforming. one by one the dads come out to decorate the houses for christmas. a few days ago our neighbour across the street was out with his kids putting up little red lights. it's a nice time of the year. waiting. preparing. the christmas rush and business hasn't yet begun. i look forward to christmas this year! i'm starting to like this slow pace of life. thanks kaspar! p.s. here he is. looking oh so very smart. books and swings. he seemed to dig both, today. :-)