toast

A few days ago, while making my coffee, I hear Stella saying: "That's not toast!" I usually do not take these comments too seriously. My reply is pretty generic (to all her "That's NOT... comments"): "Of course, Stella, it's not toast." Most mornings that is exactly what she needs to hear. However, this morning it throws her nearly into a tantrum. After a few minutes she repeats: "That's not toast, mommy!" Even though I still have no clue what she's talking about, I repeat: "Yes, Stella, it's not toast. It's porridge." She bursts into another bout of complete frustration. And keeps repeating the same thing: "That's not toast, mommy!" This time I glance over and see her pointing at the computer. I still don't get it. "No, love, that's not toast. It's a computer." Same reaction... only this time she flings herself onto the floor and starts screaming something completely incomprehensible about toast. I'm beginning to loose my patience. Seriously... How many times can I take this in one morning? She's probably feeling the same way, unfortunately. So, I take a deep breath and plug along with breakfast. After a while Kaspar wonders down the stairs and he solves the mystery. Right there on the computer screen is a picture of our recently busted up Volvo. It turns out that all along she has been pointing at the small picture of the Volvo on the computer and telling me: "That's not toast, mommy!" Did I ever feel stupid!!! If only I had taken the time to pay closer attention from the first moment on, I would have caught on. It was funny and tragic all at once. It made me feel really bad for being the busy body mother that hardly pays attention to my kid. Yet, on the other hand, it was a mystery only my four year old could have solved so immediately. The only thing that was harder then trying to understand the comment was trying to explain in what instance one would call a "car" - "toast".

before and after

Kaspar got a hair cut. As much as I loved his sandy coloured long hair, I had to admit that he could use a good trim. The summer being right around the corner and his hair getting longer and longer by the day, he was due for a cut. As he began to arrive home from daycare with soaked, hot forehead and long wisps of hair stuck to it... I began to feel sorry for the kid. So, the actual trim or cut was easier then I had expected. He was thrilled to get it. I was thrilled to not have to spend a penny or even spend much time thinking about it. Dad's electric trimmer did the job beautifully! Stella is up next. No, not for a buzz cut. I'm not totally crazy. But she does need a trim to even out some of the newly grown in curls and wisps. She's just beginning to spot a full head of hair, but it's unbelievably unruly and curly and every wisp in a different length. I still have to sleep on it. I mean, seriously think about trimming her hair. I'm attached to that hair like it was my own, or even more so... Motherhood makes one crazy. I swear, it does!

romance or science

I used to be a romantic. Rainy days in the summer made me think of curling up in bed with a book or sitting on a covered patio and sipping coffee with friends... cuddling under one umbrella with someone you love. Now? Now rainy days make me think of the Science Center! What is happening with me???

I have to admit that the BEST things about this city (when you have kids, I mean!) are the Science Center, the ZOO, the ROM, Riverdale Farm and a few other kid friendly places like that. The unfortunate part is that they all cost a lot of money (with the exception of Riverdale Farm). If someone would have asked me a few years ago what I thought about holding memberships at the institutions mentioned above, I would have said - not worth it! Or at best I might have agreed to membership at the AGO. Today - that is where my money goes.

It's raining cats and dogs out there today. I'm thinking Science Center, but the kids are going to daycare as soon as they get up and I have work, work, work... Sad. I'd love to trade in work for Science Center! Not that I would mind having a day for a book in bed or coffee on a porch, but what am I thinking... that NEVER happens anymore :-)

when i get older

Yes, my kids are singing the K'Naan song Wawin' Flag. Not just singing it, but singing it over breakfast, lunch and dinner and before going to bed. It makes me cringe just because I have been hearing it so much that I cannot stop hearing it in my head any more. It is taking over my dreams. (When I get to sleep, at least) I have never ever been so sick of a song. It all started with Spring concert at school and ever since, Kaspar comes home every day knowing more and more of the song and what he does not know he makes up. The song is long and repetitive, but of course that is exactly the thing that kids love. Yesterday even Stella began to chime in. I could not believe it. She makes up her own words, but she gets the sound of it right, totally right. However, if you want to know what I feel like - try listening to the song five, six, ten times in a row... or even in a day. Oh boy!

Stella has hit this extremely entertaining phase in her life right now. She’s just month short of being two and a half and as Kaspar likes to put it “She is sooooooo cute!” (Unfortunately, she knows it, too!) And I have to always remember to tell Kaspar that he was, once upon a time, also a very cute 2 year old.

Stella now speaks in full sentences, even if they are at times a little odd. She is able to say pretty much anything she wants to but most of the time she lets us know what she does NOT want. She has this funny way of speaking about anything in the negative. I first started to notice it when she was just putting two words together, but as the language skills progressed she continued to do so. For example, if we’re laving the house and it’s sunny out she will step out onto the porch and in a two year olds absolute excitement exclaim “It’s NOT raining out!” And I bite my lip instead of saying “Were you expecting rain all along?”

My Stalla favourites are:
While addressing me: “You’re not daddy!” (As if I ever pretended to be daddy?)

In the morning, while I pour her an apple juice, she’ll say: “That’s not coffee.” (Have I ever pored a coffee for her? Of course not!)

And she loves to trick you while looking at books and colours by pointing at red and saying things like… “Yellow? No, that’s not yellow!”

She will sometimes point at a dog in the street and say: “It’s not a cat!”

If she’s in the kids room playing with Leggo and I walk in… it’s always: “Kaspar is not playing Leggo!”

It is one of these things that makes me smile every time, because to an adult these statements seem so absurd. But Kaspar is right… She is very cute! And Kaspar more often then not, takes on the role of a parrot and repeats everything she says. So, now we have a whole new battle on our hands… all about having to STOP mocking.

a year long sabbatical

After a year long sabbatical and getting my life back on track, I have returned to the blog-o-sphere. I could blame a few of my friends and relatives who have nagged me with emails about our lives, on and off. But to be very honest I miss it myself. I miss “putting it on paper” so to speak. I like writing about the immediate experiences with my kids and being able to go back to them and re-read them myself. So, here we go. Another attempt. I will make no promises, but I will try to do a bit of blogging here and there as much as I can. This picture is kind of old now. It was taken just after Christmas in front of our tree, with the two of them. But it so clearly illustrates their character and what they’re like.

purple tongues and such

i've been thinking a lot these days. thinking about stuff in general and about my kids a lot, too. it's been such a busy spring, ever more so because of my accident. but even besides that... kaspar's first year at latvian school ended. he received his first ever report card. kids started daycare. stella has begun to talk. and i take it all in and have time to pause in the middle of the day and just think about it all. what a blessing. have to be thankful for the little things.

looking back at pictures over the last three years i'm surprised how alike stella and kaspar are and yet how so totally different at the same time. character wise - they're from totally different planets. physically they seem like two peas from the same pod. if kaspar still has no patience to feed himself with a fork and a spoon then stella on the other hand has absolutely no patience to wait and be fed. she eats as well as she can, but refuses to let go of that fork. yes, half her meal ends up on the floor and the other half in her lap, but she's eating, regardless. when kaspar knocks his foot or hand or head on something it's immediate tears and crying and a generally extreme and "dramatic situation". stella gets pushed around on a regular basis by her brother and more often then not trips over the different pairs of shoes she constantly tries on, but she hardly makes a fuss, except for the quick kiss she needs to receive on the bruised body part.

this morning the kids went back to the daycare, but reluctantly at best. long week-ends are hard. hard on all of us. i hate having to fight all morning with my son about the benefits vs. drawbacks of daycare. i wonder if that will ever end.

steve spent the better part of the week-end in spain (elliott brood played a festival in bilbao http://www.azkenarockfestival.com/arf/) and brought us back treats like "heart attack hearts from dirty free". i'm quoting kaspar, of course. he figured out that he was saying something funny pretty much immediately. after a short explenation of what "artichoke hearts" are and what "duty free'" means he let it go until bed time, when he asked me to explain the "dirty and free" all over again. it took a good half hour. i have to admit, the concept of "duty free" is hard for an adult to understand, let alone a three year old who does not know the difference between ten dollars and ten cents. i don't know if he got even a part of what i was trying to explain, i only know that his idea of dutiful is "yes, i can be dutiful, but i will NOT do anything if i don't wnt to!" go figure! i think "dirty and free" is a lot mor up his alley.

friday

we've had a week of doctor's appointments, naturopath consultations, chiropractic treatments and daily trips to the daycare and back. time is flying by. another two weeks and my casts will come off. knock, knock.

kaspar has developed a good relationship with the kids and staff at his daycare so much so that it's hard to get him out of there when we go to pick him up. on wednesday he literally started crying, when i told him that it was time to go home. go figure! mornings, however, are a different story. it's still hard to leave him without a bit of a fight and a few tears. on the other hand it's only been a week and we're told that he's having a great time once we leave. he even confirms this himself: "i stopped crying as soon as you were gone! really! i did!" the three year old logic does not stretch far enough, however, to answer my enquiry of 'why did you in the first place, then?'

stella has changed in the last five days so much so that it's hard to even know where and how to begin describing all the changes. she's speaking a lot. most of it is still in one or one and a half syllable 'words', but she's an amazing communicator and is so capable of letting her caregivers know what she wants and what she needs. she is able to ask for bottle and apple and a whole list of other things, too. she's also asking to be taken to the toilet, even at the daycare. that's a whole mountain of an achievement in itself. she's also developed a whole new independent streak and has instantly become less of a little 'cling-on'. my theory is that she has been so stressed about all the changes in our lives since the accident that she has felt really unsure all this time, but perhaps the very structured and consistent schedule of the daycare has actually caused her to feel more at ease. i don't know if the theory would fly with anyone else, but i'll stick to it for now, because it makes ME feel more at ease. call it what you want!

i had heard over the years from friends and even child related web sites, from other parents and grandparents that kids pick up germs at daycare much more often then those kids living at home during the days. i guess after this week we're joining the troops. within three days stella managed to develop what they call a 'daycare drip' (a constant runny nose). it's definitely not a pretty sight, but relatively harmless. i'm trying out all my home remedies and hoping that we can put a stop to it, before it becomes a nuisance. funny how with each change comes a whole slew of related problems and issues and stuff to deal with.

oh, the life of a parent!

it's been a long time

it's been a long time since i logged in and blogged... it's been one month and one week since the accident that changed my life so completely. it's been a month since the surgery... a week since i've stopped using painkillers. but most importantly it's the first day my kids are both in daycare. i'm heartbroken. probably more in shock then they are. especially after having spent days and nights at home with them now for a whole month. i miss them, and it hasn't even been four hours. funny how spending day in and day out with them can be both stressful and busy and hectic, but as soon as they're gone the house feels so empty. shortly after i had arrived home after droppping stella off my friend christina phoned. i cannot tell you how good it is to have friends, who are there when you need them. i really needed to hear from another mom that everything was going to be ok. it's hard to let go... sometimes.

Dear Family & Friends-

I write on Beta's behalf. She asked that I write a posting to let you know that she has had an accident, is in the hospital, and, thankfully, is already on the mend.

I have started a separate blog where you can find out more and follow along with her recovery.
http://www.getbetterbeta.blogspot.com/

You are also welcome to join our Facebook group- Get Better Beta!!!- to show some extra support. We are already over 100+ strong!

Don't worry... Beta will make a full recovery. She remains positive as always. Please do be patient with regard to this blog as it will take her some time to get back to it.

All the best-
Christina