not as innocent

Stella knows how to play the game. Oh, yes. She does!!! She's not as innocent as she seems...

I remember Kaspar at two and a half throwing tantrums... did he ever! But Stella beats Kaspar by a mile. I used to think that somehow... maybe... perhaps... hopefully I had paid my dues with Kaspar. Stella will be the perfect little two year old girl. Not a chance! She's just a late bloomer on the "tantrum throwing stage" of two year olds. She knows how to play the game!

Today I picked the kids up at daycare, just as usual, and we headed home. It's not much of a walk home. Maybe about a quarter block? We cross a street and pass four houses and land on our front steps. Yes, a blessing indeed!

Today it started about a meter outside the daycare door. Well, maybe it had started already at daycare, but I cannot vouch for that :-) She was not happy! And she DOES show it, when she's not happy. We managed to get out the door, when Stella erupted with her demands of staying on the sidewalk and not letting one of the other mothers pass with her stroller. After a lot of calm talking and "mirroring" (a technique I'm learning, and it seems to help, but it's hard on parents... it's hard to learn end even harder to practice in times of distress) she finally let the stroller pass, but the two of us were instantly on battle ground. And I knew we were in for some bad temper...

By the time we got to the street and had to cross it, she dropped a toy in the puddle (full of tire, gas and oil residue, I'm sure~) and as soon as she piked it up she attempted to put it in her mouth. Of curse, instinctively I stopped her hand on the way to her mouth and took the toy. But kids do not understand parental logic like that. No, they do not! Big mistake on my part. I probably should have let her lick and suck the toy bottle and not give a hoot. Right?

What do you think followed?
I'll let you guess... yes...

She dropped her body onto the middle of the street, limp, screeching, crying, frantic, face down in a rain covered and wet Windermere Avenue with cars approaching fast on both sides. I took a moment. Took a deep breath. Grabbed my kicking, screaming, wiggling child by an arm and a leg and carried her just like that, barely holding on to that one moving arm and one kicking leg all the way to my house. I'm sure the neighbours were baffled. I don't care much anymore what others think, but these types of tantrums with my kids still baffle me. And she's not my first! I should be more understanding, should I not? I should have tried the mirroring, the calm techniques. I should have... but sometimes we react instinctively. She continued her crying and kicking for another 20 minutes and then just as it had begun, it ended and everything was absolutely perfect, happy and good for the rest of the night. Maybe the temper tantrums are just an instinctive reaction to something that is happening outside of their control and understanding as well?

I really do NOT want to admit that I make MISTAKES as a parent, but I do.