Kids never sleep when you want them to. It’s got to be Murphy’s law!!! And I don’t mean that I want them asleep for most of the day and night. Well, maybe once every few weeks I might wish for that… but not typically. Today I was out visiting a friend for brunch and had a half a dozen babysitters ready to hold Stella and play with her, but she was fast asleep the entire four hours. On the other hand, in the evening, when I was home alone trying to do laundry, cook and eat dinner and make sure the two of them fall asleep before midnight, she was wide awake the entire time. Why, I ask? Why?You know the little gold star stickers you used to get in grade school, when you completed an assignment or got a good mark on a test? I think I should get one of those every night that I manage to get both of my kids to bed on my own and have them sleeping before 11pm. I’m sure that most moms manage this without any difficulty, but not me… not with my kids. It’s a zoo here on the nights, when Steve works and my mom is not here to help out.
It kind of goes like this:
“Kaspar, which tooth brush would you like to use for brushing your teeth?” I try to give him a choice, because he’s not too keen about brushing (I don’t think many 2 year olds are!) and I read somewhere that if you give kids a choice then they feel like they are in charge and are more likely to do what you ask them to do.
“No! I don’t want to. I want to see Stella brushing her teeth first.”
“But she does not have any teeth to brush.”
“Then I don’t have any tooths, too! I don’t want to brush! No. I’m a baby and I have no tooths.” Kaspar still has no concept of “teeth” v.s. “tooth” or “feet” v.s. “foot”. It’s kind of cute!
By the time I do manage to get Kaspar to brush his teeth and wash up for the night, Stella is sure to be crying her little heart out, because she’s been left all on her own in her basinette. And Kaspar is in no way happy about it. He tends to get a little frustrated and upset if she cries for a long period of time.
Next we try to read a night time story, but it often ends in tears, because I’m trying to pacify Stella while reading the story and all I keep hearing from Kaspar is “The story does not go like that!” or “Stop saying ‘shush little baby’!” or “That’s not the next page, you missed one!” I cannot say that by this time I’m not getting frustrated myself and thus my attempt to get Kaspar to flip his own pages is not taken well. Once I get frustrated, it never goes well. Kids feel our frustration!
So, I take a deep breath. Put Stella down (she’s almost asleep!) and take a long overdue bathroom break myself. The bright light in the bathroom tends to put things in perspective, even if only for a brief moment.
But the brief moment is never brief enough. Kaspar has already managed to wake Stella, turn the lights on in his room and relocate the entire book shelf contents onto his bed. “Mom, let’s read these books first and then I’ll go to bed! Ok?”
NOOOOOOO!
And I’ve muttered the wrong thing again! The word “no” immediately starts another fight. “No” “Yes” “No” “Yes” “No” “Yes” “No” “Yes” “No” “Yes” … You try telling a dedicated and tired two year old to put the books back in the shelf. Besides, I have a screaming 6 week old baby in my arms, who does not understand prioritizing and has decided that she NEEDS to eat NOW!
I could go on, but I think I’ve painted a pretty good picture of my night time routine. By the time the two of them are asleep (often no before 11pm, even though I start well before 8pm) I feel like I’ve had a major physical workout and need a change of clothes and a shower. But I wouldn’t dare take a shower! If I do, then it’s a sure thing that one of them will wake up just as I have covered myself with soap. And, believe me, you don’t want soap drying out all over your body, while you wait for your kids to fall back asleep. It feels disgusting.
Sometimes I do attempt to watch the news, but most nights I just crash. You never know how long it’ll be before one of them is up again.
I’m so glad I don’t have to do it on my own every night!




